I’m gonna lay it out here upfront, this one isn’t about video games.  Instead, this blog is about me and and important milestone I thought I’d never hit, but finally did.

Years ago I started the slow and plodding process of making good on the fuck-ups of my past, and securing my degree.  It took a long time partly because of monetary restrictions, but more so because I was never a great student and a slower pace would allow me to focus on my classes better.  When I started the finish line seemed like a distant dream, but as of a week ago, I submitted my final assignment in my final class of my collegiate journey.

What came soon after was this feeling of dread and hopefulness, all twisted up in a conflux that made me sick to my stomach.  I’m relieved to be done with my schooling and to finally wield my long sought after degree, but I’m also terrified at what the future holds, especially during these turbulent and uncertain times.

Finding my path into a career would have been harrowing enough had the world not been overtaken by the COVID-19 pandemic, but now in the thick of it, I feel more uncertain about the way forward than ever before.

I worked for so long to get this stupid piece of paper that tells people I’m qualified to do what I want to do, but does it matter now?  I’m genuinely thrilled to finally be past this long and arduous chapter of my life, but I’m also terrified of what the next one even looks like.

I don’t know, I just needed get this all off of my chest.  I know a lot of people are going through a deluge of bullshit right now, and I know that my stuff doesn’t stack up, but it’s important for me.  I’m proud of myself yet scared of what’s to come.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to turn off my brain for a while.

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