I think my brain might be busted in a major way because all I can think about is wanting to buy games that I know I’m not going to be into, and in some cases on a platform I know I don’t play that often. I feel stupid because I literally have to have an internal argument with myself every time I see someone praise Hades or Spelunky 2. The problem is that I know exactly how this ends, and it involves me just throwing about $50 into the garbage.

I’ve gone over my distaste for the rogue-like genre of games in the past and for a while it was easy for me to look at something like The Binding of Isaac and think, “Not only is this game visually unsettling, but I can just tell that playing it won’t be a great experience for me.” But here I am staring right at Hades and Spelunky 2, and I’m actively feeling my resolve start to falter.

Hades – Supergiant Games

Just look at Hades and tell me that it doesn’t at least look visually appealing. Every screenshot and clip I see of the damn game makes me load up the store page for it and hover my cursor delicately over the “gimme the cash” button. But it isn’t just a delight for the eyes apparently, because people are raving about every aspect of Hades to the extent where I think the mechanics, visuals and story might be able to outweigh my dislike of its run-based nature. Hell, Dead Cells was a rogue-like and I fucking loved the time I spent with it.

What’s really fucking with me is the desire to buy it on my Nintendo Switch, a console I play so little that whenever I do decide to check on my Animal Crossing town, I have to wipe the dust off of the screen first. So why in the world am I looking into buying Hades on a console I don’t really play that much? My running theory is that Hades is the perfect kind of game for the Switch, and apparently I’m planning on doing some gaming on the go in the midst of this pandemic or something. It’s stupid and I’m pretty sure I’ve talked myself out of buying it on the Switch.

Spelunky 2 – Mossmouth

The other game I’ve been contending with is Spelunky 2, a sequel to a game I actively didn’t enjoy but everyone on the internet apparently is wild for. Spelunky as a series are some of the only games where I feel like a genuine weirdo for not enjoying, and while I can’t make specific criticisms about a game i played back in 2008, I just remember hating its overly ambiguous approach to items and objectives as well as its cumbersome controls.

By all accounts, Spelunky 2 is just more Spelunky with fluid dynamics involved, a combination that a lot of people are really enjoying. Maybe with 12 years of wisdom and experience under my belt since the last release I can finally appreciate Spelunky for its true brilliance. Maybe Hades will make me a believer in the rogue-like genre. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll waste my money on two games I’ll play just a handful of times.

UPDATE: I have bought both games. Somebody please help me.

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