Okay, so next week is going to be a wild one for us Americans with the whole election thing going on. I’m not going to lie to you, I’m genuinely terrified for what is going to happen regardless of who wins the thing, but I need to not think about it exclusively for the next few days or I’m sure my head will explode. What I’m trying to do is to look forward to other things that might actually bring me joy instead the giant clusterfuck that is bound to be November 3rd. So here’s a hard pivot into video games.

Did you know that video games were happening this week? Well they are. Personally, I’m pretty jazzed about Teardown entering early access. For those of you who don’t know, Teardown is part destruction sandbox and part heist game. You start a level by looking for these hidden switches hidden throughout the map, then you need to set up an efficient route to get to each of them within a short time window because when you decide to flip that first switch, the cops are alerted and come hunting you.

That part of the game seems okay from what I’ve seen of it, but the real star of the show is the destructibility of everything. See, you can just blast holes in walls and objects all willy nilly if you want, and I definitely do want to do that. I’m just excited for a fun physics-based destruct-a-thon in a pretty voxel-based world. I want to destroy shit and watch it explode into tiny, GPU-burning pieces, and Teardown seems like the perfect way to accomplish that.

Teardown – Tuxedo Labs

There’s also Watch Dogs Legion, a game that I’m fully expecting to both enjoy and recoil at for how either spot on or tone-deaf it comes across. I’ve been yearning for a good action game for a while and based off of my enjoyment of Watch Dogs 2, this sequel seems like the way to go. I also went ahead and signed up for a month of Ubisoft’s Uplay+ service so I could avoid paying full price for yet another video game, especially when you consider that within the next month a new Assassin’s Creed is coming out too. It seemed like the most fiscally responsible way to play these games which is a new look for me.

But to perfectly counteract that small, fleeting glimpse of financial responsibility, I’ve been eyeing a bunch of computer parts that I want… that I need. See, I’ve reached something of a ceiling on how good my computer can be, mostly because I cheaped out when I initially built the thing. My motherboard doesn’t support newer CPU’s, so I need a new one of those to support the new CPU I need because I’m being throttled to hell and back. And also, I’d like a freaking SSD too, so that’s added into the equation. I also would like a new case for my computer that isn’t a third of my height.

Watch Dogs Legion – Ubisoft

“What what about the graphics card?” I hear you ask. Well, even if I got a new 3000 series card, it wouldn’t matter because my CPU is still basically a hamster with a calculator, so he would probably make it difficult to see much of a performance increase. I want to ultimately build a new computer and set my terrible hamster-based CPU free, but money isn’t something I have a ton of right now. And now I’m thinking about why I’m broke, and I’m worried about next week once again.

Fuck.

Well, hopefully by this time next week you’ll be reading a blog with a much happier tone, but like I said up top, regardless of the outcome on the 3rd, it’s gonna be a shit show. Please for the love of god, vote for Joe Biden and free us from this hell we’ve been living in for the past four years.

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