Behold The Kickmen is an incredibly accurate representation of what soccer is, if it was described to you in a foreign language, from space. Now, I don’t claim to be a sports enthusiast. I used to play football and basketball when I was younger, but those days are long behind me. Occasionally I’ll dip my toes into an NBA 2K or an NHL 20XX, but I can’t say I’ve followed those sports in a long time. I suspect Dan Marshall, developer of Behold The Kickmen, is in a similar boat with soccer.