Tag Archives: Ubisoft

Blog: A Big Bloated Blog – 11/25/20

It’s almost Thanksgiving here in America, which traditionally meant that we all had an excuse to break any diets we were clinging to, were subject to horribly racist and misguided “conversation” with distant relatives, and would ultimately result with hiding in a bathroom to avoid your family. Luckily you don’t have to engage with any of that shit this year and that’s fucking great. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have eaten a traditional Thanksgiving dinner this year but between the whole pandemic thing and the election thing, I’m super good with just staying home.

And you should be too, quite frankly. I don’t know if you’ve checked recently, but that COVID-19 thing that our nincompoop of a president and his deluge of moronic followers consistently bellow is a “hoax,” much to the surprise of nobody turned out to be real. But people are going to travel out of spite and ignorance regardless of how much that “liberal science” keeps pleading for them to stay home. So do yourself a favor and stay the fuck home if you can. I know that not everyone is in a situation where they can do that, but for those who can make that choice, pick the option where you don’t endanger the lives of everyone around you.

Yeah, stay home and distract yourselves by maybe watching some movies or reading a book. Definitely don’t refresh certain retailer websites in the hopes that a certain stupid looking console might suddenly become available. If everyone could just ignore the internet for a short period of time, that would be so ideal. I must have signed up for so many notifications for when the PlayStation 5 is back in stock that I’m certain my phone will explode when retailers make the console available again.

What else is going on? Oh, the president is still trying to undermine our democracy and erode the foundation that our country is built upon with frivolous and baseless lawsuits, but what else is new? It’s kind of like when you see a kid throw a tantrum in Target or something, it’s loud, annoying, and inescapable unless you just leave the store altogether. That’s basically what these past few weeks have been like, except it’s a grown man with a bad spray tan that’s doing it in front of the entire world. Hopefully this all comes to pass without too much more damage.

I don’t have a great segue to pivot off of that, so I’ll just say that I’ve been playing some Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, and boy howdy is it unremarkable. On the plus side, it runs on my computer at a stable frame rate and looks gorgeous while doing it, unlike another Ubisoft release from a month ago. But on the flip side of that coin, it’s just kind of boring. Admittedly I haven’t played too much of it, but I haven’t found the story, characters or mechanics to be all that interesting. Honestly, it just seems kind of bland.

Remember when Assassin’s Creed started pumping out sequels that were basically the same game crammed into a new setting? That’s what Assassin’s Creed Valhalla feels like. It isn’t a bad game at all however, it’s just unremarkable. Not every game needs to be revolutionary or anything like that, but Assassin’s Creed Valhalla just kind of feels like another solid entry in the series and nothing more.

Also, I couldn’t play it for the first day because I kept running into an infinite loading screen that stopped me from actually ever starting the game. I tried a bunch of different options and tweaks to try and get on the other side of this blank void of a loading screen, but nothing sufficed. But for the first time in history, I have to say that a game streaming service saved the day.

I noticed an ad on Uplay+ that alluded to a glut of Ubisoft games, including Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, were currently available on Amazon Luna. Amazon Luna is Amazon’s (surprise, right?) game streaming service. It works fine, but is not the way I’d ever play these games. That is unless they offered cross-save functionality that would allow me to get through a busted loading screen and then take that new save back to the version I had installed on my computer. But what are the odds of tha… oh wait.

Yeah, for the first time in my life I’m thankful I had access to a game streaming service. Oh, and for those of you worried about my finances, I have no intention of keeping the service after the free trial is up. But hey, maybe before the trial is up I’ll try to whip up an article or something about it.

Also, with the holidays coming up and the end of the year approaching it’s time for me to start thinking about Game of the Year type stuff again. I’ve got some ideas and loose plans for things, but we’ll see if they pan out the way I want them to.

I think that’s about it for me this week. Hey, thanks for stopping in and reading this rambling mess. I appreciate your support. Be safe, be smart, and enjoy Thanksgiving if you can, and you’re an American. To everyone else, enjoy your week and ignore all retailer websites for a few days so I can get the funny looking console. Thanks!

E3 2019: Ubisoft

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One thing you can always count on from a Ubisoft E3 conference, is it’s gonna be weird, people are gonna be dancing, and they’re going to continue to act like their games are apolitical. So here we go, let’s take a look at the stuff Ubisoft brought to the stage that I considered worth writing about.

Keep in mind, a lot of this conference was about updating the games they have out at the moment, and considering I don’t really live in any of those ecosystems, don’t expect to see much of that in the feature below.

ODE TO A SOUNDTRACK THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS

Opening the show was something called the Assassin’s Creed Symphony, playing a lovely medley of of what I assume is music from the Assassin’s Creed games. A weird choice considering this year we’re not supposed to get a new entry in the franchise, and also, I don’t know that any of the music is particularly memorable. It’s good music for sure, but not something I could ever recall if you asked me to.

But the reality of it was that this was some hype for the Assassin’s Creed Symphony tour that’s coming up. That’s neat.

WATCH DOGS LEGION

I love the aesthetic that Watch Dogs Legion is hitting upon here, this slightly futuristic, post-Brexit London, where extremists and gangs rein supreme. Things are kicking off in a major way here though, with so many different gameplay elements being highlighted. Particularly the part where they went from playing as a street thug, died, and then started playing as an old lady. She’s a hacking old lady who used a freaking drone that’s just jumping on people’s faces. Then she pulled out a gun an iced some fools.

The whole pitch here is that you can play as anyone in the city. You recruit new resistance members based on their stats and abilities. Some people were better hackers, fighters, drivers, etc. It actually seems like an awesome idea that probably took a long time to make work well.

Slightly disappointing was the amount of gun-play in the game. I was hoping to see more focus on using your hacking powers and hand to hand combat than just shooting fools. Like, sure, in games shooting stuff is fun, but I was hoping that with the gun laws in London, that would be more apparent in the game.

Also, I’m very unclear of how an actual story will weave together when anyone can be a main character. Either that isn’t the case, or the story is going to feel so nebulous and vague that it feels disjointed.

After the gameplay demo, the director of the game reiterated the fact that anyone can be recruited and played as. I’m assuming that there are going to be pretty influential NPCs that will kind of shepherd whatever the player character is forward. At some point, player voices and backstories will have to be reused, right? It’s gotta be something where, there are like 5 different kind of old ladies in the world with their own voices and animations, and it reused over and over. Or not, who knows.

It’s out next March.

MYTHIC QUEST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a5tWM5yQZA

It’s a show from the creators of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia about a game studio that made the biggest MMO in the world. Here’s hoping that at least an entire season or two focuses on unionization in the games industry.

20 bucks says that if this show goes well, someone will actually make this fake MMO game into a reality.

The show looks like it could be okay, but boy howdy it’s got one hell of a mountain to climb. It’s coming to Apple Plus, a service that I’ve only just heard of, right now.

BRAWLHALLA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQWPLKHv2TU

The free to play Super Smash Bros game is getting some Adventure Time characters in it. I like both of these properties and it’s nice to see that they’re still supporting this game with new content. I gotta say, I don’t know if the show is still going or if it’s relevant at all these days, but it seems to be a cool content infusion for a game I forgot existed.

GHOST RECON BREAKPOINT

I didn’t hate Ghost Recon Wildlands, it was just a very repetitive game that I didn’t have people to play with. Jon Bernthal is in the game as the lead villain which he seems to pull off very well. After a CG trailer of Mr. Bernthal being angry and hyping up his army, he walked out on stage with an adorable pit bull who looked very scared of being there. I have no idea why he was out there, but I’m very happy he was.

Then we cut to a trailer of people shooting other people in the woods and doing some military hand signals at each other. I’d play this game only to get more of Mr. Bernthal’s acting. My only hope is that this time around, they put in a button that allows me to snap to cover instead of that auto-cover nonsense.

And here’s something for the hardest of the hardcore Ghost Recon fans, an exclusive streaming and content portal just for fans of the games. It was weird, but probably something the fans will really appreciate and hopefully actually use.

Yet again, there’s another Terminator crossover in this game, cause of course. It comes out on October 4th.

ELITE SQUAD

Uh, they’re making a Tom Clancy themed mobile game. It’s some tactical shooting game called Elite Squad. They put Sam Fisher in it which is the meanest thing they could’ve done quite frankly. This is what they do with one of their most recognizable characters – put him in a mobile game instead of his own title.

JUST DANCE 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtiXKHNAFew

They’re doing it! The big elaborate dancing sequence where a person in a panda bear costume comes out and dances with a bunch of other brightly dressed dancers. It was just as weird and uncomfortable as it always was. Thank goodness for Ubisoft.

Also, I guess they’re putting another one of these games out this year. Whatever.

RAINBOW SIX QUARANTINE

How do you feel about a spooky scary Rainbow Six game where you and two other players take on some monsters or something? Claiming this to be the Rainbow Six Siege of PVE games, it’s a big claim that I bet could work well. It’s weird though, cause Rainbow Six was always about some tactical, military realism, and this very much seems like a departure from that.

Hopefully it works out well for them.

UPLAY +

You know what this is. It’s another game subscription service you can pay into to play all the latest releases along with a catalog of classic games. The service is coming to Stadia, allowing you to utilize this service anywhere in theory. The price is in line with other services like this, at $14.99 a month, it seemed almost inevitable that this would happen.

ROLLER CHAMPIONS

“A skill-based, team PVP sports game.” That’s what they said about the game. With no real details, they came out and just dropped this trailer for a game without any real information, then said that you can download a demo for the game today. So that’s cool. Then, almost as if they had messed up and announced the demo too early, they showed off a gameplay trailer, which also didn’t tell me anything about this game.

It looks like a mesh of NFL Street and a roller derby. I’ll try the demo though. Why the hell not?

GODS & MONSTERS

The last trailer of the conference was for a game that I guess exists that had absolutely no information about it. It was colorful and made it seem like it would be a more lighthearted adventure game in the vein of Assassin’s Creed. They said it’s a game that heavily focuses on mythology. So who knows what that means.

And it just ended. For a Ubisoft conference, it felt kind of lifeless and straightforward. Also, where the hell is Splinter Cell? It’s getting to the point where they keep putting Sam Fisher into their games, without providing players any modern context for who the character is. The last Splinter Cell was in 2013 and was on the Xbox 360. We’re rapidly approaching the point where we’ve had a generation without a game in the franchise, but the lead character has shown up several times.

What I’m saying is that it’s a crime that there isn’t another Splinter Cell game, and I’m upset. But Watch Dogs Legion looked cool. The rest of the conference was a little muted for my taste. It felt like they’re playing it safe until the next generation of consoles come out.

Blog: The Guessing Game of E3 2019 – 05/29/19

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In less than two weeks time we’ll be waist deep in the bog that is E3 once again. There are plenty of conversations that we could have about the obsolescence of the conference itself, but for the time being, I just want to scrounge together a sort of wish list for the event. With several companies not attending, including Sony, and the knowledge of a new console generation right around the corner, this year is probably going to be fairly lite in terms of big announcements.

I could probably just write the word “games” over and over, but I just want to hit on like one or two things from each conference that I’d like to see.

MICROSOFT

Microsoft is kicking off E3 with their conference, in what I think could be the most interesting conference of the entire show. It’s no secret that the Xbox One didn’t set the world on fire and was easily overtaken by the PlayStation 4 in terms of market share. Since their rocky launch, they’ve tried to right the ship since then by taking a very pro-consumer stance with their ‘Play Anywhere’ initiative, which allows for Xbox exclusives to be playable on Windows, their push to make online games allow players on any console to play with each other, and my personal favorite, the Xbox Adaptive Controller, which brings accessibility to a whole new level.

I’m genuinely excited to see what the next generation looks like under this new era of Xbox, but till then, I’m gonna just list some stuff I would love to see out of them this year.

FABLE 4

For my money, if Fable 4 came out and incorporated a large world, devoid of loading screens, with the fun yet admittedly shallow combat from Fable 2, I’d be happy. The Fable franchise has always traded on cheeky humor and robust world building, but I think it would be nice if we could make good on some of those promises that Peter Molyneux made back before the first Fable came out, and include more of those clockwork systems that make the world feel more alive.

HALO INFINITE

Look, I don’t know what they’re planning with Halo Infinite, but regardless of if it’s the conclusion to the story we’ve all wanted or a big pile of garbage, I just want to know. Just let me play this game and move on with my life. It’s not like I’ve been waiting a terribly long time, but I think I’m just so exhausted with Halo, that I just want it to be over with. If it was good, that’d be great, but even if it isn’t, I just need to know.

NEW CONSOLE

I swear, if this next console isn’t just called the Xbox Two, I’m gonna lose my shit. Although in all fairness, it would be absolutely hilarious if they just called this thing like “XCUBE” or “ULTRABOX.” I don’t know that I’m ready for a new console generation, but I don’t really have a choice in the matter. Regardless, I’d like some functionality stuff to be talked about. Are we doing a disc drive? Do all the Xbox One games work? How about the accessories like controllers? How big of a deal is streaming? Just some cool bullet points would be great.

BETHESDA

Look, I don’t like Bethesda games that much. They’ve all felt janky to me in one way or another, and I never got into any of the settings they played around in. I’m not a big post-apocalypse guy, and even less of a high fantasy fella, so I’ve basically eliminated most of their modern lineup. That said…

STARFIELD

What I wouldn’t give for any information about this game. I know that this is behind Elder Scrolls IV in the queue, and almost certainly wont be on this current generation of consoles, but a man can dream.

I’m just looking for something that can vaguely fill that Mass Effect sized hole in my heart. While I hate that Bethesda stands the best chance at this moment, I have to stay hopeful that a good sci-fi action RPG that let’s me shoot aliens or bone down with them is somewhere on the horizon.

AN APOLOGY

Imagine it; Todd Howard walks on stage with his head hung low. He steps up to the lone microphone on the stage with a single house light shining upon it. Andrew W.K. is notably not there, or if he is, he’s singing a dramatic and somber version of one of his party songs. Todd clears his throat and speaks into the mic with tears in his eyes. “We fucked up, y’all. We really goobered it up on this one. Fallout 76? Yeah, we did a bad on that.” Then he eats a canvas bag that says Fallout 76 on it, and melts into a puddle.

UBISOFT

Man, I really like the turn that Ubisoft has had this generation. They’ve stuck with their games in a way that very few developers do, and cultivate these lively communities around their games. For Honor, Rainbow Six Siege, The Division 2, and Ghost Recon Wildlands just to name a few. I’m pretty stoked to see what they do this year.

SOME PATENTLY CRAZY CONFERENCE BULLSHIT

For those not in the loop, Ubisoft has the fucking most wild press conferences ever. Usually there’s people in costumes dancing, a game of laser tag in the auditorium, and Mr. Caffeine, the strangest man ever. Ubisoft, whether intentionally or not, has made their conference twice as exciting by just being themselves.

SPLINTER CELL

I will forever ask for another one of these. I love Splinter Cell, with Splinter Cell Chaos Theory being one of my favorite games of all time, it’s been upsetting to see Ubisoft shove Sam Fisher and his cool goggles into a closet. I want another one of these games. I thought Blacklist was cool, but it didn’t scratch the itch I needed it to. I’m ready to see Sam Fisher snap necks and hang from the ceiling like he did in the old days.

WATCH DOGS 3

If I can’t have Splinter Cell, give me this instead. The lack of an Assassin’s Creed this year along with a ton of rumors about the next Watch Dogs taking place in London, all lend credence to the almost inevitable announcement of Watch Dogs 3. The rumor of it being set in London makes me even happier, considering one of the biggest issues with Watch Dogs 2, was how flippantly your character went from graffiti enthusiast, to armed assassin. Setting the game in a place without guns adds to the likelihood that more focus will be put on the puzzle aspects of the game, rather than the shooty shooty killing part of it. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Watch Dogs 2, but I think they did themselves a disservice by letting you use shotguns and pistols.

THE OTHER STUFF

Ubisoft is really good about the, “one more thing” part of E3. They announce some big sequels, along with some really intriguing new franchises. I’d like a progress update on Beyond Good & Evil 2, maybe see what other Nintendo collaborations they have up their sleeves, or even see them tackle some more sports in a follow up to Steep. Ubisoft has my attention most of the time, except for that boat game they announced. I don’t give a damn about their pirate thing.

SQUARE ENIX

I… I don’t really know. I guess people really wanna see that Final Fantasy 7 remake, but I just could not give less of a shit. I genuinely do not know what to even ask for here. I’m looking at their Wikipedia page, and maybe like, 5 games are jumping out at me.

They probably aren’t doing another Tomb Raider just yet, Thief and Sleeping Dogs are basically dead at this point, and they just released Just Cause 4 last year. Aside from Life is Strange, they’ve really got nothing I want. Although according to their Wikipedia page, that untitled Avengers project is still a thing, and I haven’t played a good superhero game in a very long time.

Aside from that, I can’t really think of anything I want from them. Surprise me, Square Enix. Surprise me.

NINTENDO

Alright, here’s the situation: Nintendo already announced two games that I’m very excited for, and a bunch of others that mean relatively little to me. I have no doubt that something will catch my attention during their Nintendo Direct, but here’s what I’d like.

MARIO 2 STYLE IN MARIO MAKER 2

Like, just fucking do it Miyamoto. Do the thing we all want for once, and put the game in the other game. Mario Maker 2 looks fantastic, and seems to be fixing a lot of the shortcomings of it’s predecessor, so just fucking do the damn thing.

ANYTHING ABOUT ANIMAL CROSSING

Please?

MARIO RPG

I know I’ll never get a sequel to Super Mario RPG on the Super Nintendo, but how about another Paper Mario game? We’ve done enough of those Mario & Luigi games that were fine, but hit me with the big one. Give me another Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door or something. You did the Mario and Rabbids thing, and that surprisingly worked out pretty well. So just do this thing for me, okay?

CONTINUE TO NEVER GIVE WALUIGI ANYTHING

Fuck Waluigi.

That’s what I’ve got so far, maybe next week I’ll look into some of the companies that aren’t doing conferences, and grossly speculate about what they could make, if they had to listen to me.

We Watched The Ubisoft Press Briefing | E3 2018

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Ubisoft? Mebisoft? Webisoft.

Beyond Good & Evil 2

After the annual Just Dance live performance, we got a trailer that served as a tone piece for what to expect from BG&E2. Lot’s of surly anthropomorphic animals flying ships as well as cooking were on display. Of course, tragedy strikes when the spaceship they’re on is under attack by a gigantic monster spaceship. This is when they reveal that the first game’s protagonist, Jade, is what looks to be the big bad villain here.

We then get some developers talking us through the basic setup of the game and introducing the characters that will be in this poorly titled prequel. That aside, it was time for some gameplay. A massive city is on display that you can fly through in your own spaceship and exit at anytime to go beat the shit out enemies. It was pretty ambiguous honestly, but it looked really cool. They also said there was coop, so that’s awesome.

Then Joseph Gordon Levitt came out on stage and asked people to submit their artwork, music and writing to be possibly put in the game. There was no mention of compensation on stage, but he clarified that there would be payment, on his Twitter.

Trials Rising

At long last, a new Trials game is upon us, and I could not be happier. In classic Trials style, it seems like it’s going to be just as frustrating and fun as the previous entries. There was a shot of what looked like 8 people riding bikes on the same screen at the same time. So that seems like it could be a chaotic blast.

Shortly after this trailer, we learned that there is a beta you can sign up for, and the full game is slated for release in February of 2019.

The Division 2

The Division 2 was shown again, but not before we got a really dour speech about how the events of The Division came to be. Nothing says fun like Small Pox.

But we got a new trailer, once again it’s a tone piece. We see shots of people living well inside compounds, then some less than friendly behavior outside the gates; people being robbed, in hiding, or being executed. Then we see 3 nondescript Division soldiers walking down a mountain. But suddenly it’s time for another dour speech that tries to be inspiring about hope and bringing the right equipment and tactical abilities to Washington D.C.

But let’s talk about the game structure. Raids are going to be in The Division 2 featuring up to 8 player coop to tackle these much more difficult missions. They also went ahead and plotted out their DLC structure, stating all three of the first year updates and content drops will be free.

Now a gameplay trailer that opens with some upside down American flags and people shooting at other people. Once again, nothing terribly new on display, but there’s a beta to sign up for, and it’ll be released March of 2019.

Skull & Bones

Skull & Bones was next game that was shown that followed the trend of showing a tone piece trailer, having a developer come out and explain things, and then showing some gameplay.

I never enjoyed the Assassins Creed boat stuff that this game is inspired by, it just never did anything for me. So it’s tough for me to muster any real excitement for this game. Looks like you’ll be heading to a hub area to buy upgrades for most of the equipment on your ship, then setting sail. We see the player pirate ship flying a fake flag to fool the sea cops before moving to intercept a convoy carrying some hot booty. Enough damage was done to the other ships that the player was able to board them and plunder them.

Oh no, a high level enemy is in the distance, luckily there’s multiplayer to help us out with that problem. Other players have joined the fray launching all forms of cannon fire at this large, evil galleon.

It’s right here that I realize we’ve spent way more time on this than I cared to see.

The big evil galleon is sunk, and unsurprisingly all the other pirate ships have turned on each other and attacked one another. Cut to black, and we’re done. You can sign up for the beta or wait for the 2019 release.

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey

As cool as AC: Odyssey looks, I’m genuinely disappointed that we’re back to getting another of these so quickly after Origins. While it isn’t like they just re-skinned Origins with a coat of Greek paint, it just feels a little soon in my opinion.

Aside from my personal feelings about the game, it looks actually pretty interesting. A large focus on RPG elements with dialogue options and choosing your player character. It seems like the natural progression of where Assassin’s Creed needs to go and I’m all for it. There also appeared to be a romantic options you could explore, at least that’s what I gathered from the “heart” icon next to one of the dialogue choices.

We didn’t shake the annoying “walk and talk” segments from previous AC games, but this one seems to have shortened it. They also kept the Phylakes style roaming mercenaries hunting you down on the map stuff from Origins. A feature I didn’t much care for, but others seemed to enjoy. There also are larger scale battles on display here which look like a nice change of pace.

All things considered it looks really neat and I’m curious in checking it out when it arrives on October 5th of this year.

There was no mention of Splinter Cell. I am the saddest man.