Tag Archives: Death Stranding

Walkabout in Walking Simulator

As someone who hasn’t played nor has no intention to play Death Stranding, it’s been fascinating to experience what essentially is a gigantic parody of it. If you haven’t seen it, there’s currently a free game on Steam called Walking Simulator that’s basically one giant joke at Hideo Kojima’s expense. It’s shallow, it’s stupid, and it isn’t fun, but it made me laugh and that’s gotta count for something.

With that being said, I’d like to take you on a journey. Walk with with me through the frozen tundra of Walking Simulator.

We start with a quote, as all good video games do. This is a powerful metaphor for sure, but in Walking Simulator, it’s a little more literal.

Welcome to Antarctica. You’re first task, go deliver fuel and definitely don’t get distracted and accidentally spawn a bunch of enemies. That would be tragic.

Dang.

Not a problem though. Those fools can’t run and I totally can. Time to take my Jenga tower of boxes on a trek through this frozen wasteland.

There are two very important things to know about Walking Simulator. The first is that random packages and enemies will spawn around you if you’re moving slow enough. You’re gonna wanna pick as many of these up as possible.

The second is that I don’t think there’s a limit to how much stuff you can carry.

The people in this building are gonna be so impressed with my very good package tower.

This custodian is not impressed by my objectively good tower, nor are they phased by the cold weather at all. They should send this guy out there instead of me.

After dropping off my very important packages, not only did I get more, but I got the chance to buy energy drinks. I tried one and I’m pleased to report that they give you superhuman running powers for a limited time.

Is it cool if I take this? I’m just gonna take this.

This is so much better than running.

This bad boy is a little squirrelly on the controls front, but I can handle it.

Ah shoot.

Stuck the landing though. Pretty sweet if I do say so myself.

Yo, it’s Greg with Postmates. You want me to leave this outside or what?

Not gonna lie, this is simultaneously the coolest and lamest office I’ve ever seen.

But hey, any office where I can get a jet-pack is worth visiting, if you ask me.

Oh this mountain doesn’t stand a chance now that I have this drone strapped to my back.

He’s doing it!

Fuck.

Ouch.

Dammit. I just want to get to the top of this horrible mountain.

Hell yeah baby, it’s happening!

Good enough.

I really should have listened to this. I really, REALLY should have. It didn’t get better and they tried to warn me about it.

I’m too far in though, I need to see this stupid game through.

Really wish I could use my jet-pack while riding this snowmobile and turn myself into the worst plane that’s ever existed.

If the snowmobile controls this terribly, I can only imagine how poorly the truck I’m going to pickup is going to be.

More cargo. Love it, love it. Absolutely loving how the cargo is also definitely tied down and won’t become an issue while I’m driving nearly 4000 Walking Simulator miles.

This isn’t me being fancy with the camera. This is me spinning in circles while going 60 miles per hour in the snow.

God dammit.

Can you guys not? I’m trying to pick up the things I dropped.

I could have sworn I had two of these in the truck.

Turns out, these containers just explode. Good thing two of them are strapped to my back inside the truck.

Another flawless delivery in the books. Now to… go back to where I started? Okay…

Buddy, really? I don’t even have anything except this terrible truck. And no, even though I called it terrible, you can’t have it.

I wonder what they’re gonna have me do next.

Trucks can survive a couple of barrel rolls, right?

Oh… you just want me to do the first mission again, huh? I think I’m gonna follow the advice you gave me a while ago and just not play this thing anymore.

Walking Simulator isn’t a game of substance in any way, shape or form. It purely exists as a method to dunk on the tepidly received Death Stranding that came out last year, and by that metric, it succeeds. As someone who hasn’t played Death Stranding, I can confirm that this is exactly what it’s like.

In all honesty though, Walking Simulator is genuinely not worth your time, even at the low price of zero dollars. I’m kind of angry with myself for playing it for the hour I did, but I got a couple of laughs out of it so I guess I can’t be too upset.

If you like Death Stranding, good for you. If you don’t, that’s fine too. I’m not here to cast judgements on your gaming preferences at all. But there’s one last thing that I do want to show you that might just be the scariest and most sinister part of this whole silly game.

They’re going to put out more content for this ridiculous game.

What are the odds that this game goes from a complete parody, to a more full fledged product that people actually end up enjoying? Like, I could definitely see the joke going so far that it wraps around to being something sincere. Part of me thinks that with a little more polish and slightly more to do, Walking Simulator could be fun in a weird way. Then there’s the other part of me that hopes I never have to boot this game up ever again.

Top 15 Games I Didn’t Play Because I’m Not Made of Money

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The money tree I planted in my backyard never really payed dividends, so I couldn’t fiscally find a way to play everything I wanted to this year. So in no particular order, here are 15 games I wanted to play but couldn’t, because I’m not made of money.

CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE

I like Call of Duty well enough, but hearing the positive reception it’s been receiving really ramped up my desire to play it. The original Modern Warfare was responsible for some of my favorite gaming memories with my buddies, and while I know I can’t ever recapture that magic, it would’ve been nice to revisit it.

14.) LUIGI’S MANSION 3

I’ve only ever seen other people play any Luigi’s Mansion game with the exception of playing some terrible mini-games in Luigi’s Mansion 3 with friends. I never owned a Gamecube or Nintendo DS, so I was pretty excited to get the chance to play this newest release on a platform I actually owned. But like most of the games on this list, life happened, and I had to prioritize other things. The reception on this one has been mostly positive with some people taking umbrage with the controls. From what I’ve seen, Luigi’s Mansion 3 seems charming as hell, and I definitely want to check it out.

13.) POKEMON SWORD & SHIELD

Okay, I’m not the biggest Pokemon fan, so I can’t say I was actively looking forward to playing this latest entry at all. But I was curious about what a Pokemon game on a more or less, home console, would actually look like. Not curious enough to drop sixty big ones on, but still curious. With this one, I was more just window shopping.

Combine my mild desire to play a Pokemon game with the very mixed and sometimes angry reception of this latest entry, and I think I’m good on never playing it.

12.) DEATH STRANDING

Despite the miles of coverage on this game, I still just wanted to try it for myself if only out of pure curiosity. Most people are pretty split on it either loving it or hating it, but after seeing some of the stuff floating around the internet, mixed with my general dislike of most Kojima games, I’m 100% positive I made the right choice for me. If you like the game, great, but it doesn’t look right for me.

11.) HYPNOSPACE OUTLAW

I’ve been so close to pulling the trigger on this game 3 or 4 times now, but still haven’t for some reason. It’s this adventure game set in these facsimiles of old 90’s GeoCities pages where you play as a cyber cop that cracks down on infringements and infractions of cyber-law. It sounds great, but I just never found the right opportunity to go through with buying it. Luckily, one of my dear friends gifted me Hypnospace Outlaw for the holidays, which means I no longer have an excuse to not play it.

10.) SEKIRO: SHADOWS DIE TWICE

I’m not a Dark Souls guy at all, but people told me that Sekiro, while still being tough, wasn’t as brutal as a traditional Souls game. Whether they’re telling the truth or not is pretty subjective, but deep down I knew what they actually meant was that this game would still relish in any opportunity to whip my ass. So I kinda decided to save myself the hassle and just skip it. Looks really cool though.

9.) FIRE EMBLEM: THREE HOUSES

Speaking of games that I definitely wouldn’t be into, the Fire Emblem series is an extremely popular role-playing, turn based RPG with an emphasis on crafting relationships with various NPCs in an effort to make them better fighters… I think. It’s certainly not a game I would enjoy, but all the praise people were throwing at it did make me curious enough to consider throwing money at it. Yet after hearing that the game could take upwards of 70-80 hours, I politely declined and moved on.

8.) MORDHAU

I really wish I had some friends who would’ve played Mordhau with me. I enjoyed games like Chivalry back when they came out, and Mordhau just looked like a more refined version of it which was a very appealing proposal to me. But it isn’t a game I would play unless I knew that I had a crew to roll with. Buying multi-player focused games is a pretty tough sell for where I’m at in life, but if my friends were down, Mordhau wouldn’t be on this list.

7.) CADENCE OF HYRULE

Crypt of the Necrodancer was so cool and unique that I’m surprised it took them so long to make another one. I’m even more surprised it came in the form of a Zelda-themed game. For those who don’t know, just like its predecessor, Cadence of Hyrule is a top down dungeon crawling game that has you move and act to the beat of music to attack and move around and all that. It’s such a neat concept, but I just never got around to picking it up.

6.) THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: LINK’S AWAKENING

Two things basically stopped me from actually picking up Link’s Awakening. The first being that I couldn’t afford it at the time, and the second being that the performance of the game looked really bad. On top of that, people who had finished it were pretty lukewarm on the later game content. I’d still like to try it for myself, but probably never will.

5.) ANCESTORS: THE HUMANKIND ODYSSEY

This is just like Death Stranding to me in that they’re both fairly inscrutable. I really wanted to play Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey, but after seeing it in action my desires quickly subsided. There appears to be no direction in how to play or progress which isn’t super enticing for me. I was ready to approach this game like I was on a fact finding mission and I would report my findings back to all of you. But yeah, I don’t know that I’m ever going to buy this game.

4.) ASTRAL CHAIN

So here’s the thing about Astral Chain that can probably explain exactly why I didn’t play it. Up until I went to make this list, I forgot it had even come out this year. I’d heard mixed to positive things about it, but I was on the fence to begin with. It looked like a cool action game and reports of the satisfying combat definitely piqued my interest, but it just kind of fell off of my radar so hard and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything big.

3.) GREEDFALL

I have wanted to like the games that developer Spiders have made in the past, like Mars: War Logs and The Technomancer, but found them to be clunky and mostly uninteresting. But Greedfall looked like the most comprehensive of all of their offerings and certainly showed well in trailer form. When it came out, the response was pretty mixed, but there’s still a part of me that wants to give it a fair shake. There’s also my weird desire to play a big meaty action RPG even though I know that I have a hard time seeing games through to the end. That is unless they’ve really grabbed me, which is something I doubt Greedfall would have done.

Also, Greedfall? That’s the name that comes out of an idle game name generator. It’s a very bad title is what I’m saying.

2.) DISCO ELYSIUM

A lot of people have been singing the praises of Disco Elysium and even giving it their top honors this year. Since it released that’s kind of been the tenor of the conversation around it, so I was definitely intrigued. But seeing it in action quickly reminded me that it isn’t my kind of game. A CRPG is most definitely not what I’m looking for, and Disco Elysium looks to be a CRPG-ass CRPG.

I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t feeling some sort of FOMO with this game, especially because when I hear it described, it sounds awesome. I just know that Disco Elysium isn’t a game for me.

1.) SHENMUE 3

I just… like… I gotta know. I need to see this stupid game. I need to see if after almost twenty years this game is worth a damn at all. I don’t hate Shenmue games, they were impressive at the time, but they didn’t age well at all. Hearing that Shenmue 3 feels like a game made in the late 90’s but today, is a wild prospect. It sounds like the creator of the game, Yu Suzuki, stopped playing games after releasing Shenmue 2 back in 2001, and decided to make another one without looking at any advancement in the industry since.

Give me infinite time and money, and I will give you the review of Shenmue 3 that you all deserve.

Now even with an unlimited budget, I don’t think I would have had the time to dedicate to playing all of these games anyway. It’s a shame I missed out on some of these games, but I’m not balling out in a way that I can buy them all. Anyway, thanks so much for checking out my list, check back tomorrow for my Game of the Year list.

Blog: A Mild Year – 10/23/19

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Since starting The Bonus World, I’ve always tried to get some sort of end of the year wrap up article together for game of the year season. Usually by this time in the year I can start constructing some loose amalgamation of a top ten list. 2019 happens to be the first year in a while where I’m having a tough time building that list.

That isn’t to say that the games I’ve played in 2019 have been disappointing or bad, I just found that a lot of what came out this year didn’t really resonate with me. Things like Kingdom Hearts III and Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice were received positively, but once again, not my kind of games. Then we also had some real clunkers like Crackdown 3 and Anthem release early in the year and fade away into obscurity.

I think a lot of it has to do with developers gearing up for the next round of consoles along with the fact that early next year we’re going to be blitzed with some big titles like Doom Eternal, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Dying Light 2 and Cyberpunk 2077 to name a few. 2019 just feels like the gap year between the bombastic 2018 we had with Marvel’s Spider-Man and Red Dead Redemption II to cherry pick some of my favorites, and the swan-song, end of the generation year of 2020.

Like I said, I don’t think it was a bad year for video games, but when compared to last year and what’s coming up next year, it’s definitely lacking something. But hey, the year isn’t over yet, so I could eat my words on this. We’ve got The Outer Worlds and Call of Duty Modern Warfare dropping this Friday (10/26), and games like Luigi’s Mansion 3, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, Pokemon, Death Stranding and of course, Shenmue III in the very near future, and any of those games could be great.

But let’s be real here, I’m probably just gonna play Red Dead Redemption II on the PC obsessively and let the other games just slide into the background.

We Watched The Sony Press Briefing | E3 2018

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Hideo Kojima presents: The Sony 2018 E3 Press Briefing.

The Last of Us II

We open on the composer of The Last of Us sitting in the corner of the stage and playing some very somber tunes on his banjo. Without any gameplay happening. Just him playing the banjo. In this very small church themed venue.

Once he finishes, the lights fade and the footage begins. We open on some people having a party in the exact same venue the conference is happening in, which is weird but cool. We get some context to our main character, Ellie as she’s slow dancing with another woman and eventually kisses her. Then we get a fade to black and reemerge on her slitting a dudes fucking throat in the woods. Very romantic.

It’s all gameplay from here as we see Ellie creeping through the jungle and sneaking around enemy encampments. We come to a scene of some people simultaneously hanging and stabbing another dude which is insanely brutal and inefficient. Through a combination of using a bow and arrow as well as a hammer, she’s taking down her enemies. She eventually is shot at by a gunman which understandably, makes her start running away. She manages to get far enough away and hide under a truck, but eventually is found.

Here we get to see some of the more frantic gunplay and action. Everything seems incredibly dynamic in the way she seamlessly switches from firing a gun to picking up and throwing a brick at a dude to taking a human shield. She eventually ducks into a shop where the stealth elements make their return. While hiding, she crafts an explosive arrow which shes uses exactly how you’d expect. She finishes the last bad guy off and we get a wonderful transition back into the party where this all started.

It’s here I want to emphasize that all of this looks amazing. The animations, the art, all of it is fantastic. It blends from cutscene to gameplay and back and it does it flawlessly. I still don’t know much of anything about the story, but this segment has done enough to pique my interest.

Intermission

Yeah, so it’s here that I realized that they’re moving the audience of the venue into the main theater where the rest of the conference will take place. During this time we have a round table discussion about the current state of Sony and how it’s more recent successes are effecting new games and future decisions. Here they confirmed a new game plus mode for God of War.

They appear to be using this transitional moment to also showcase some trailers for other games. One of these was an ad for classic Black Ops maps available in the upcoming Black Ops IIII. We also learn that as of tonight, Call of Duty Black Ops III will be free for Playstation Plus members.

Ghosts of Tsushima

Here is a man playing an instrument I cannot name, but he blows into it and cool music comes out of the other end. The music stops and the footage starts rolling.

We see a Japanese warrior of some sort walking through a pretty fucked up battlefield with some mourning people crouched up and down the side of the road. He walks up to the top of a hill so we can admire the beauty of the world Sucker Punch has built. He calls for his horse, climbs aboard and sets off through the field and into the forest. Eventually we reach a clearing where some bad guys are executing another man. I’d say we were hacking and slashing through these dudes, but it’s way more deliberate and way more brutal.

We meet up with a companion of ours and run up to an enemy occupied temple. It looks like we’ve entered to stealth portion of this game. Our character climbs onto a roof and makes his way to an opening in the temple. He jumps down into the room and slow-mo murders 3 enemies before stabbing a guy through a door who attempts to sound the alarm.

Upon exiting the temple, our companion tries to pull some shit and challenges us in battle. It basically turns into a Soul Calibur/Bushido Blade game and it looks fucking mind blowing. Suddenly someone shoots fire arrows into the fray the entire field starts burning around them. Our companion and us stop fighting to team up against the incoming horde where it cuts to black and we see the logo.

I am in love with this game.

Control

What if Psy-Ops met Quantum Break? You’d get the latest Remedy game. A woman used psychic powers and guns to fuck people up in this Escher-ass looking game. It looks like a game that is aiming to mess with your mind and the trailer does a good job at establishing that. It’s slated for 2019, and I am onboard.

Death Stranding

So here we are, a Hideo Kojima game is being “shown” at E3. I’m surprised this isn’t just a big slide that just says “FUCK KONAMI.” We see gameplay of Norman Reedus and another guy trudging through various terrains while carrying cargo on their backs. Then, instead of carrying just cargo, we see a guy carrying what looks like a mummy around. At this point I think this is a weird moving and/or hiking simulator, until a guy pulls out a gun.

It’s right here that I realize that I’m trying to describe a Hideo Kojima trailer and I probably just sound like I’ve lost my mind. Invisible hand-footed monsters roam the land and Norman Reedus can’t be bothered to wear a shirt. I still have no idea what this game is about or how it plays but I didn’t expect that I’d find out tonight.

My guess he’s carrying a clone of himself around with him in the form of a baby in a jar. Then he did a sneaking bit past some floating ghost demons or something. I genuinely have no clue what I’m looking at. But Reedus gets swallowed up by the ground and we cut to a woman eating something followed by a cut to another woman standing on a beach dramatically.

I do not know what it is I just watched, nor do I know how I feel about it. Death Stranding ostensibly is a game that one day you might be able to buy.

Spiderman

We open with a crashing helicopter in which Spiderman, does Spiderman things with his spider webs to avoid any injuries. After the crash we get to see some awesome looking combat that reminds me of the Arkham games, but even faster and with some neat special moves sprinkled in.

The Sinister Six are on the loose and they’re all trying to fuck Spiderman up. They all go ahead and leave so Spiderman can fight some goons, which looks just as fun as it did a few seconds ago. After dispatching them, Electro taunts Spidey and starts fleeing. We get to see some real good looking web swinging which ends in Spiderman running up what looks like a massive elevator shaft so he can meet Electro and the gang on the roof.

At this point it’s just a cutscene where several baddies all team up on Spiderman and beat the living shit out of him. It ends with a cliffhanger of Spiderman on the ground in pain, looking up and saying something to the effect of “you?!” Then a quick fade to black and that’s it.

The show is now over and we cut back to the place where the intermission took place. Cool.

Overall, this was a bizarre conference that didn’t really surprise me that much outside of seeing some of that Ghosts of Tsushima.