So here we are, week 46 of social distancing, with nothing but time on our hands to finally do all of those things we so desperately wanted to do but never had the opportunity.  Yet even with all of this time to pursue passion projects, I can’t seem to find the motivation to start anything, and end up sinking into a more comfortable, time-killing routine.

I’ve had so many “projects” stocked up in my mind for years that I always cast aside because I didn’t have the “time” for them.  Well, here I am with all the time in the world, doing none of them.  From trying new games, to rearranging my apartment, to bolstering my portfolio, and even finally getting around to making that album I’ve wanted to for over a decade.

I suppose the initial and somewhat factual reaction to all of this is that even with all the time in the world, I just don’t want to do anything.  This quarantining period seemed like the perfect opportunity to work on all of these creative projects I had swirling around in my mind, but I just have no motivation to do anything at all.

It’s a depressing reality we’re all in, and doing anything to keep our minds and eyes away from the miserable reality that is the world seems like a good idea for our collective mental health.  I don’t want to detract from the seriousness of of the situation we all find ourselves in by talking about how much free time I have or anything, especially knowing that people our out there fighting and risking their asses to keep the world going.  That all being said though, I can’t speak to their struggles and would never attempt to say I know what they’re going through.  I can’t and won’t, but I will thank them all profusely for everything they do.

But with the best thing that I can do in this situation being to just stay home, I’m finding that my usual waterfall of ideas has dried up just as quickly as my motivation has.  I think the combination of the current situation mixed with the lack of any deadline has really made it easy to procrastinate and stagnate.

It’s always been great for me to have firm deadlines to work within and I find that I do my best work when I have a time limit.  Now, without any limits or deadlines however, tomorrow is always the day I plan on doing something.  I’m always pushing the goal posts back because there’s no end in sight for the sequestering.  Hell, I’ve even found it hard to keep up with this website despite having literally nothing else to do.

I’m sure that there are plenty of creative types out there who are flourishing right now and getting so much stuff done.  I’m also certain that there are plenty of people out there in the same boat as I am.  No one knows how long this whole thing is going to last, so I’m sure that I have time to find my footing and get going on any sort of project.  It’s just that starting them is the first and hardest part, and I’m still trying to adjust to this new life a lot of us are leading.

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