I Hate Bunny Day

UPDATE: Since writing this article, a patch was released for Animal Crossing: New Horizons that turned down the spawn rate on all Bunny Day eggs.  This article is representative of the six days of the event before the patch was rolled out.

Like most of the world, I’m dedicating a lot of time to the recently released Animal Crossing: New Horizons, a game which I absolutely adore.  The simple pleasure of just building and maintaining my own island has been, among other things, therapeutic.  That is until April 1st rolled around and every Animal Crossing: New Horizons player got pranked at the same time by a giant asshole dressed up like a bunny, making it the worst April Fools joke of all time.

If you don’t know, Animal Crossing: New Horizons introduced their first seasonal event that is some vague celebration of Easter, focusing more on the eggs and less on the whole Jesus thing.  It’s supposed to be a light and happy event to shake up the routines of a standard day in Animal Crossing: New Horizons, tasking players with collecting various eggs to make Bunny Day themed furniture.

2020040120012900-02CB906EA538A35643C1E1484C4B947DIt was supposed to be cute and happy, but it very quickly went from charming to annoying and then to frustrating.  So how could something designed to be so lighthearted become so despised by many Animal Crossing: New Horizons players?  Well there are a few reasons.

Firstly, the entire event runs from April 1st to April 12th.  That’s twelve whole days of the bullshit that I’m going to explain a little later in this article.  Twelve days of having to deal with this event whether you want to participate or not.  It’s maddening.

2020040511455800-02CB906EA538A35643C1E1484C4B947DThe second and possibly biggest reason has to do with one of the core mechanical changes in Animal Crossing: New Horizons, crafting.  In New Horizons a focus has been put on crafting furniture and tools through the use of raw materials that you find throughout the world.  Chop a tree for would, hit a rock for iron and so on and so forth.  The problem is that while you could whack a tree reliably for three pieces of wood, now there’s a high chance that at least one of them will actually be an egg.  How an egg was hidden inside the bark of a tree, I’ll never know.

But it isn’t just some minor inconvenience, as everything that you would do in Animal Crossing: New Horizons now has a fucking egg attached to it.  Mining for iron?  Egg.  Chopping wood?  Egg.  Going fishing?  Oh that wasn’t actually a fish, somehow you caught yet another fucking egg.  These little bastards are everywhere, and even though you can just sell them or give them to villagers, they still waste your time and resources.

2020040511504600-02CB906EA538A35643C1E1484C4B947DThis leads to my third issue with Bunny Day.  Even though I’m actively not participating, I’m still wasting my time getting bamboozled by what looks like fish in the water, but are actually sentient, swimming eggs.  I’ll go to dig up what should be a fossil, and instead it’ll be a special subterranean egg.  Not only does it waste my time, but it wears on my tools.  My fishing rod will break because I wasted it’s good fishing energy on a stupid egg, which leads to me having to march over to a tree to get wood (and more eggs), head to a crafting table to make another fishing rod, and then head back to do this stupid cycle over again.

You can’t even escape from this shit because the being behind this holiday, Zipper, who is most definitely a man in a bunny suit and not a bunny, is a criminal.  Single-handedly, this monster managed to not only pollute my oceans, ground and skies with his shitty eggs, but did it on every island I might visit.  In Animal Crossing: New Horizons there’s a mechanic that allows you to fly to a procedurally generated island to mine for resources and possibly catch exotic bugs or fish.  But somehow this fugitive of the law in a bunny costume, filthed up every island I might find a temporary escape in.

2020040318063800-02CB906EA538A35643C1E1484C4B947DFor those keeping score at home, this holiday was forced upon me, even if I don’t participate in it I have to suffer through its dumb mechanics, and it’s a colossal waste of time and resources that I cannot escape from and must endure.  Bunny Day sucks shit and it goes on too long.  I don’t want your heinous egg-themed furniture, I don’t care about any of it, I just want it to go away.

Lastly, it’s wild to me that only 11 days into Animal Crossing: New Horizons being out publicly, with people still settling into their rhythms and routines in the game, this event has basically thrown a wrench into any plans they had.  I’m still actively developing my island, and when I get 7 eggs that are worth a few pennies each versus 7 fish that would fetch a far better price, I’m being actively thwarted in my attempts to make a kick-ass island.

I really love Animal Crossing: New Horizons and check in on it several times a day.  It’s been the bright spot in what’s been a pretty dreary time in all of our lives, which is why it sucks even more that a stupid event that was made to be fun and happy is actively draining my enjoyment and desire to pop in from time to time.  I can’t wait until this event is over and I can go back to not seeing 8 balloons with eggs in them floating around my island like a bunch of derelict satellites and space trash.  Till then, fuck Bunny Day.

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