Category Archives: Archive

Blog: Get Dunked – 08/08/18

I can’t remember the exact year but it had to be around 1998 that my father took me to see the New Jersey Nets get utterly outplayed by Michael Jordan and the rest of the invading Chicago Bulls. On its own it was an absolute spectacle to see my favorite team get picked apart by the best player in the league, but for my family and I, it was one of our favorite pastimes to enjoy together. Some families are really into football or baseball or whatever, but mine was all about basketball, especially the Knicks and the Nets. I also was really into video games, which was good because it turns out they made a lot of basketball games.

While I don’t follow the NBA much these days, I’ll still pick up an NBA 2K once every few years in an attempt to scratch that lingering basketball itch. A few weeks ago NBA 2K18 was on sale for twenty bucks and I decided to pull the trigger on it and try to finally win the Nets a championship considering that’s basically what I do every time I’ve picked up one of these games in the past. But before I purchased it, I was greeted with the super accurate and never abused user review aggregate score of Mostly Negative.

That doesn’t seem great

As it had been in previous years, NBA 2K18 was filthy with microtransactions and plenty of reasons to engage with them. Using NBA 2K17 as an example, I’ll give you the real quick and dirty explanation of the economy. You’ll create a player to bring into the career mode and some of the various online modes, and depending on how well you do in games and practices you’ll receive a certain amount of in-game currency that you can spend on more skills and cosmetic items.

The problem is that you accrue an abysmal amount of the currency just through regular play and everything worth buying is ridiculously expensive. In an average game, you might earn anywhere from five-hundred to one-thousand dollars of in-game currency, whereas certain skills, like three-point shooting, can cost several thousand in-game dollars to level up just once. That’s also the same currency for making your character wear arm bands or cool sleeves as well as simple stuff like just getting a new haircut. From everything I was reading, it seemed like NBA 2K18 had doubled-down on these crappy business practices, and people weren’t too pleased about it.

BRRAP BRRAP!

Now, my point for writing this isn’t to dunk on NBA 2K18 and its terrible business model, but rather to illustrate how little that means to me. Because for as many bad reviews as I saw I also read that if you don’t engage with that stuff, the core gameplay is really good. Considering all I ever do in these games is play the franchise modes that allow you to pick a team and run them for decades, I was happy to buy the game and do just that. Twenty hours later, I’m very happy with my purchase. It’s become my go-to game for when I want to watch a movie or listen to a podcast, and outside of a few performance issues and the rare invisible player, I think the game is pretty great.

I don’t support the crappy business model that’s implemented in NBA 2K18, I think that it’s gross and exploitative that it encourages people to pay if they want to be competitive in two of their largest game modes. But the game itself is still really good, and it reminds me of all of the great memories I had from when I was a kid and was actively following the sport. And honestly, that’s kind of all that matters to me at this point.

The Space Billionaire of No Man’s Sky

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Recently I documented my early yet harrowing return to No Man’s Sky, but ultimately came away realizing I wasn’t far enough into the game to formulate any real opinions on the experience as a whole. Just as I was when it initially launched, I was overwhelmed and ill-prepared for the latest chapter in my space chronicles. Beset by barren planets, space cops, and hostile environments, I was just about ready to accept that No Man’s Sky was just not the game for me. That was until I met The Space Billionaire.

After the debacle that was my first attempt at exploring the universe, I decided to re-roll my character and get a fresh set of planets to explore. I still started off on a planet that hated me, but this one was a little bit more forgiving than the toxic wasteland that I initially started on. Luckily I spawned in right next to an outpost, which meant I’d be able to find a reprieve from the sweltering heat outside. As I set off to go find and repair my spaceship I received the notification that a player was joining my game.

This mystery player landed their ship right in front of me and I was fully prepared for them to try to blast me into smithereens repeatedly until I quit the game. Once they exited their ship, we stared at each other for a few seconds before I decided to play nice and wave to them. They waved back. I gave a thumbs up and headed over to the clearing where my broken-down ship was sitting. I’d survived the first contact.

At my ship, I went into my inventory to begin crafting the necessary components that would allow me to get off of this boiling planet and hopefully find one more welcoming. That’s when the stranger’s ship touched down next to me again, followed by four more. I genuinely thought this was going to be it for me, but I maintained my composure and went back to my inventory to craft more components. But there was a problem.

My inventory was filled with canisters of freighter fuel. Every available slot was packed with this mysterious item that I had absolutely no use for. The stranger then said to me, “you should sell those, they’re worth a lot of money.” It was then I learned that text chat was a thing and responded with the appropriate amount of gratitude for the gifts they’d bestowed upon me. “You should be able to buy a good class-A starship with that. Go and sell that stuff as soon as you can, and try not to die.” And just like that, they took off into the stars and vanished out of sight, and out of my game.

So there I was, a man with a busted ship and potentially millions of space-bucks to my name, slowly dying of heat exhaustion on this unexplored planet. I had no space in my inventory to craft anything that would help me survive, I just had tons of fuel for ships I didn’t own. I needed to get back to that outpost quickly and offload this stuff, not only for profit, but to literally save my life.

I arrived at the outpost, ready to begin my life as Rich Spaceman, the richest guy in this particular universe. That would’ve been the case were there actually a terminal for me to sell things at in this particular outpost. I had so much potential profit in my pockets, but no way to sell any of it. It was then I remembered that my ship had plenty of inventory space to put some of this stuff in, so I ran back to it only to discover that those were filled up too. These benevolent gifts were going to be the end of me.

But lo and behold, I had one space that wasn’t filled with fuel, but rather 2 pieces of salt that I’d picked up at some point. I obliterated that salt as quickly as possible, opening up a precious inventory slot that would allow me to craft the necessary components to escape this Twilight Zone-esque hell I was living in. With my ship repaired, I set off to the nearest space station to collect my not-at-all-hard-earned cash.

Now flush with way too much money, I made my way to the nearest planet which happened to be really darn nice. A lush landscape, overflowing with resources and devoid of any space cops. A place where the temperature is perfect 75 degrees all the time except for when the occasional boiling rainstorm comes through. This was the first time that I was able to really connect with No Man’s Sky and feel like I had some space to breathe and work at my own pace.

I haven’t actually spent any of my newfound millions yet and probably wont until I absolutely have to, but I’m more than grateful to The Space Billionaire and their philanthropy. Their generosity coupled with the luck of finding a peaceful planet so early have made me very excited to explore more of what No Man’s Sky has to offer. Although I do wonder what The Space Billionaire is up to now. I like to think they’re out there being an angel investor to somebody else in need, helping someone else trivialize a major portion of this game.

Thank you Space Billionaire. I’ll never forget you.

Blog: A Violent Chasm – 08/01/18

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Have you ever played a game that you desperately wanted to like but it actively pushed against you until you eventually walked away from it forever? I had this exact experience with Iconoclasts, a game that released earlier this year, and I felt it once again with the release of Chasm.

I’m sure there will be plenty of people who are going to jive with what Chasm is doing, but I’m finding some of the things I’m encountering early on to be really questionable.

For instance, in the first two hours of playing I’ve come across something like 12 to 15 unique enemies. That sounds great at first, until you realize that you never really have a chance to learn how to deal with an enemy and their attack pattern before they’re replaced with something else. In the span of an hour I went from fighting rats to a flying skeleton that shot fire out of its mouth. I never felt like I was winning encounters, rather it felt like I was just surviving them.

Adding to the frustration though, is the fact that whenever you reenter a room, all of the once defeated enemies will have reanimated. Considering this is a metroidvainia game where you’re going to be running into a lot of dead ends, having to face off against every enemy you just fought moments ago can get really exhausting, really quickly. Which I guess isn’t so bad considering everything gives you XP and helps you level up.

Except it doesn’t matter because you’re just running into more and more powerful enemies and never really get a chance to feel like you’ve powered up. You’re just constantly bombarded with a new group of assholes who want to kill you, who happen to be more capable and resilient than you. “What’s that? You’ve leveled up to the point where this enemy dies in one hit? That’s fantastic news because you’ll never see them again.”

The combat doesn’t feel great either. In the early stages of the game, you’re just too slow and vulnerable to ever feel like a competent fighter. You have a dodge move that will push you backwards, but that never felt responsive enough to get me out of tough situations. It was mostly a game of awkwardly jumping around my enemy because that was a more reliable way to dodge attacks.

All of these individual missteps that Chasm takes contribute to the feeling that this whole game just starts to feel a little too punishing a little too early without really rewarding or empowering the player along the way.

Blog: A New Man’s Sky – 07/25/18

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Two years ago No Man’s Sky was released after a lengthy and very prolific advertising campaign and was met with less than stellar reviews from a lot of users and reviewers, including myself. As I’m sure a lot of people did, I basically walked away from No Man’s Sky shortly after it launched and never looked back. That is until today when the “NEXT” update was released.

There isn’t much to say about my time with No Man’s Sky just yet, I’m too early to make a definitive decision about it either way. I was spawned in on a harsh and unforgiving planet that was full of fire, poison and space cops, all of which were things that made completing the tutorial unnecessarily hard. I just wanted to explore the world and figure things out at my own pace, but everywhere I turned was something trying to screw me over.

The whole issue was exacerbated by the still overly cumbersome menus and crafting system, but once I manged to wrap my head around where in the menus I need to look for things, the whole experience became a little more manageable. But that process took me two hours, there’s video evidence of me being nearly defeated and re-rolling a new character on a new and hopefully more forgiving world. It was harrowing to say the least.

I’m not far enough into No Man’s Sky NEXT to make a definitive statement about it either way, but so far I’m enjoying my time with it more than I did previously. I still really dig the vibe of that game, from its retro-futurist visual style to its ripping soundtrack, it has an aesthetic appeal for sure. Hell, even the new character customization options are pretty awesome, even if they’re not terribly diverse from the outset. I am eager to see all of the content that’s been added and changed since I last played the game two years ago, and I think that’s really the driving force for me at the moment.

This whole blog may feel like I’ve basically said nothing about No Man’s Sky NEXT, but it only feels that way because it’s true. I haven’t gotten far enough into it to formulate a new opinion about it. What I will say is that I’m starting fresh and giving No Man’s Sky an honest second chance.

Blog: Dungeons & Dragons – 7/18/18

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Someone once told me that Dungeons and Dragons is basically the bedrock which modern fantasy media is built upon. I don’t know how true that claim is, but I could see that. I’ve never been a huge fantasy enthusiast and even less of a tabletop gaming fan, but as of this past weekend I have a new appreciation for D&D that I never had before.

Once a year a bunch of my friends from various parts of the east coast converge back in our hometown to hang out for a few days. This time around we wanted to do more than just drink and play video games, so we asked a friend who was big into the scene to be our Dungeon Master for our very first foray into Dungeons and Dragons.

Our DM went ahead and made some character archetypes with abilities for us to choose from, and plopped us into what was described as a one-shot game. The plan was to streamline the experience to make it more conducive to a 4 or 5 hour session.

After the first half-hour of play, any skepticism I had about the experience going in was long gone. I was playing a hunter character that was just really good at shooting crossbows and was insanely perceptive. Alongside me was a shield-wielding fighter, and Paladin with the power of God infused in his sword. Outside of the canned motivations for embarking on a quest, our characters were just names and stats on a piece of paper that we were to flesh out on our own.

Everyone fell into their roles and slowly became their characters in no time whatsoever. Our Paladin quickly became a man devoid of levity, solely focused on this mission that his God had ordained. His brother (our fighter), was a jealous and greedy man with a chip on his shoulder for not being the “chosen” child. My hunter was man who wasn’t incredibly thrilled to be in this situation, but these were his friends and he was going to stand by them and be the comic relief. And literally showing up late to the game, as well as being played by two different people was our mage, who because of what I assumed was multiple personality disorder, was a wildcard. But more on him later.

Getting into my character was only half of the equation though, the real heavy lifting was on the part of our DM, who was spectacular. He ultimately hammered the fact home that we can do just about anything we want in this game. No matter what crazy bullshit we threw at him, he’d tell us to roll a die and craft a story around it. From my understanding, this is what a good DM does.

Saturday came to end without us reaching a conclusion in our game, but come Sunday we would have to finish it because people were going home later in the day. With that in mind we sat back down with a new player taking helm as our mage. Previously he had been someone who knew his way around some D&D and was basically safely leading us through the campaign. That was fun, but it felt like he knew all the right questions to ask, and spells to use. On this day however, we had someone who was just as fresh to D&D as we were.

Time passed as we fought floating skulls, tentacle panthers and no-faced nightmare beasts until we eventually we got to what was later revealed to be a loot room. With our emotions high, it was here that our final encounter went down. We had to wrap this game up, so our mage pulled our DM aside and concocted a plan. The entire time leading up to this sidebar, I suspected our mage of some nonsense thinking he’d turn on our group or rob us or something. So I made it very clear for most of our stay in this room that I had my bow drawn on him, ready to inflict retribution for any attempts at fuckery.

The sidebar ended and everyone returned to their seats. The mage turned on us and tried to trap us in the room so he could escape. Him and our DM had planned for the mage to blind us with smoke and make off with some magical maguffin that would trap us forever and destroy the dungeon. But as I had established earlier, I had that fucker in my sights this entire time. Before his smoke could go off I was able to fire a massive crossbow bolt that landed square in his chest. He eventually was able to teleport out of the room, but we gave chase and met up with him as he was making his way to an exit. Within feet of being able to escape, I fired one last shot from my trusty crossbow at him.

With luck on my side, I rolled really well and put that bolt right through his back pinning him to a wall. The Paladin then strolled over to this monument to failure and hit him so hard he turned into a cloud of dust. We killed our former friend and had a moment of triumph before we realized it had gotten late. I’m a bit hazy on the exact details, but I’m pretty sure the dungeon collapsed and we all died anyway.

And this was a game that took place over the course of 6 or 7 hours at most. We didn’t really get to create our characters or flesh out our backstories. There was so much we didn’t do that might seem like we missed out on something from an outside perspective, but for us, this was the perfect introduction to Dungeons and Dragons. I applaud the game, my fellow players and especially our DM for making the experience really memorable. The biggest problem is that we enjoyed ourselves so much that we’re chomping at the bit for the opportunity to play again, but we wont be able to do that until this time next year.

Blog: Unhealthy Relationships – 07/11/18

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Every time that I end up playing Overwatch, I’m reminded how mechanically sound and charming that damn game is. On its surface, it’s a pleasant game to play and look at. It’s so weird that every time that I finish a session of playing it, I end up feeling angry or dejected. I can probably attribute it to the constant ass-beatings I end up getting from game to game.

Despite all that, I still have over a hundred hours in the damn thing. It’s this abusive relationship that keeps pulling me back in by waving a rolling gun-hamster in front of me only to kick me in the dick for being interested in it again. But it isn’t just me, I have friends who have spent way more time in Overwatch than I have, and have these violent encounters with it. The craziest part is that we all genuinely love this game despite how toxic it can be to us.

And it isn’t just Overwatch either. Dota 2, League of Legends, Fortnite, PUBG, Hearthstone, and so many more, all have their hooks so deep in people. Presumably said hooks are so deep in order to pull you closer and beat the shit out of you.

But playing a game that has the ability to illicit a huge range of emotions is a good thing, right? No matter how angry and pissed off that I get at Overwatch, it’s an experience so memorable I end up writing about it. It’s like seeing a sports team you like blow it in the playoffs. You hate them for losing, but you don’t stop watching them altogether because of it.

I love Overwatch, but I also fucking hate Overwatch. I’m sure there’s some real science that could explain this sensation, but for the time being I’ll call it “The Overwatch Effect.”

Coming Clean: I Will Never Play These Games

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I’ve been living a lie for a very long time now. I’ve deluded myself and maintained these misguided beliefs for years, and it’s high time I came clean and admitted the truth to myself. There are games that I own and have installed, that I will never play. For months and in some cases years, I’ve had these games ready to go at a moment’s notice. Now it’s time to let go, uninstall them and let them live on eternally as painful memories of money I once had.

So here’s some of the games I’m breaking up with.

Destiny 2

I recall playing in one of the beta phases of Destiny 2 and never playing it again. Having a less than stellar time with its predecessor, the beta made it abundantly clear that Destiny 2 was not going to be the game for me. Eventually it ended being one of the flagship games in a Humble Monthly offering and I installed it as soon as possible. Nobody I knew had Destiny 2 or had any inclination of acquiring it. Hell, I didn’t even want to actually play it, but somehow it sat on my hard drive for months. Now it’s time I let it go and move on.

Besiege

It feels like in order to properly enjoy Besiege I’d have to be an engineer, and that feeling was only reinforced when I’d look at some of the community creations on the Steam Workshop. People were making functioning tanks, fire-breathing dragons, and actual Transformers while I was having trouble making a cart with wheel that could turn. Downloading and playing with these creations is fun and all, but it’s nowhere near as engaging or satisfying as I imagine building them are. So it’s time I was honest with myself and admit that I will never learn to be good at Besiege.

Sid Meier’s Civilization VI

This is another Humble Monthly burden that’s been haunting my hard drive for a while. I don’t know what line of reasoning I used to convince myself that I’d actually play this game, but it must’ve been good. I historically do not play strategy games, especially hex-based ones, yet somehow Civilization VI has lingered on my computer for months. I feel kind of bad for never having even attempted to get into it, but I need to face the facts and just cut this one loose.

It’s here that I’m noticing that maybe the Humble Monthly subscription is to blame for most of my lingering, delusional installs. But that would be passing the blame, and that’s exactly what an addict would do.

Blackwake

Last month Blackwake was one of the three early unlocks for the July Humble Monthly subscription. In the wake of Sea of Thieves being a huge letdown for my friends and I, Blackwake was a game that we briefly looked at to get our pirating fix from. Being the only subscriber to the service in my friend group, you can probably go ahead and fill in the blanks as to why this one never got, and never will get played. At best, I have a passing interest in pirate-themed games, and one that relies on having multiple friends to play with is pretty much a nonstarter. So I’m cutting this one off before it gets anymore time in my library. Blackwake, I hardly knew you.

Undertale

This is more of a symbolic gesture considering that Undertale basically takes up no space on my computer. It isn’t that I had no interest in playing it, but having not played it when it first launched felt like I missed out entirely on the experience. If you were following anything gaming related on the internet, It was kind of impossible to not learn about the cool things that Undertale was doing. Everyone was talking about this game and how amazing it was, which is why I just felt like I needed to play it myself, but at this point I just don’t care anymore.

It feels good to finally free up some disk space on my hard drive, but it doesn’t change the fact that I could write a version of this article 300 hundred more times thanks to how much money I’ve wasted over the years on games I’ll never play.

Blog: Wrecking Crew – 07/04/18

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There is nothing I enjoy more in games than seeing things get smashed to pieces. I’m not exactly sure but I think this fascination started back when Black was released on the original Xbox, and only exacerbated through games like Battlefield: Bad Company, Red Faction: Guerilla and Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. The latest game to make that list is the recently released Wreckfest.

Wreckfest is a destruction derby styled arcade racer, meaning you’re driving cars that look like they were made out of parts of other cars as you drive around a combination of dirt and asphalt paths. Despite that sounding overly reductive, there isn’t really a whole lot else going on in the gameplay department. You’ve got various forms of races you can compete in, but aside from some bonus objectives you can go for that involve causing damage or spinning out other cars, you’re just going for first place every time.

There are some fun diversions you can take place in however. There are some destruction derbies you get to participate in, but they range anywhere from mildly entertaining to nearly impossible. There’s one where you drive a combine harvester in a destruction derby with other harvesters, and while that sounds fun on the surface, in practice it’s pretty boring.

The main pull for me is the destruction, and luckily there is no shortage of that. You’re bound to see plenty of it too considering the AI ranges from stupid to downright vindictive. Your opponents like to do their best to just fuck you up at crucial points in a race. They’ll sacrifice themselves to push you off of a cliff, they do not care one way or the other. It isn’t so bad considering that when they go all t-bone crazy on you, pieces of car fly off into the sky in a beautiful explosion of shredded metal and glass.

All things considered, I’m enjoying my time with Wreckfest despite it being a little thinner of an experience than I would’ve liked. The progression isn’t great and the car upgrades are boring, but as a car deforming simulator it’s great. I would probably wait for it to go on sale though, $45 seems like a little too much to ask for what’s being offered in my opinion.

Blog: The Awesome Adventures of The Week – 06/27/18

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Oh would you look at the time? It’s half-past what-am-I-playing-o’clock. Here’s what’s been keeping me indoors so far this summer.

The Witcher 3

After finally beating the main quest line of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, I was pretty eager to dive back in and clean up a lot of the side content I had missed. Simultaneously the Steam Summer Sale had begun, and the expansion pass was on sale for like 12 bucks. So instead of doing that aforementioned side content, I just started on the the first expansion, Hearts of Stone. I fear I will never be free of The Witcher 3 in my lifetime.

Dying Light

The recent announcement of a sequel has prompted some friends and I to dip back into the fantastic Dying Light. I had already beaten the game once before, but never touched any of the DLC. Thankfully, thanks to a sale and some participation from friends, I’ve fallen back into the zombie-filled hole that is Dying Light.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit

Released a few days ago, this pseudo-prequel to the upcoming Life is Strange 2, is a good foundation for the next entry in an already emotionally devastating series. There’s a lot to unpack in this little hour-long experience, and there is no question that The Awesome Adventures of Captain Awesome is an emotionally draining experience, but it’s definitely worth the price of admission at zero dollars.

Car Mechanic Simulator 2018

Cause of-fucking-course I’m playing this game. Look, I like these kinds of games and I wont apologize for that. There have been significant changes to formula since the last entry in the series, Car Mechanic Simulator 2015, that have made things a lot more interesting. For instance, in the previous entry, changing a wheel was just picking a rim and putting it on your car, tire and all. Now, you need to pick rim sizes, tire types, mount the tires and balance the wheels before you can slap it on a car. It sounds like busy work, but for a simulation game, it’s what I’m looking for.

Blog: Sale! – 06/20/18

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According the to totally accurate and absolutely infallible whenisthenextsteamsale.com, we’re on the eve of the annual Steam summer sale. While a Steam sale isn’t the same spectacle it once was, this is as good a time as any to go through my wish-list and fine-tune it.

The Witcher 3 DLC

Of course this is on here. When I first purchased The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, all of the big expansions hadn’t been released yet. So with my recent love affair with the base game itself, I figure getting the expansion pass is an easy call.

Moonlighter

I’m a big fan of games that have a cool look. It’s gotten me into plenty of trouble before, but I’ve heard pretty good things about Moonlighter. You play as a shopkeeper who has to go through their daily motions of running a store, while also being a part-time adventurer. That sounds pretty neat to me.

Warhammer: Vermintide II

I’ve been super interested in Vermintide II, but never pulled the trigger on it. I’ve also pitched my friends on this Warhammer version of Left 4 Dead, but despite our collective interest, we haven’t made a purchase yet. If the price is right, maybe we’ll all be playing by the end of the week.

PC Building Simulator

I have a problem and I’m well aware of it. Leave me alone.

Battleblock Theater

I really enjoyed Battleblock Theater when it came out in 2013 on the Xbox 360, but I never had the opportunity to really try out the cooperative levels. So my plan is to buy two copies of this and burden someone else with the punishment that is, Battleblock Theater‘s cooperative mode.

Vampyr

I’m fully aware that Vampyr was released two weeks ago and there probably wont be a sale on it at all, but a man can dream, right? It’s gotten a mixed reception since its release, but if it was cheap enough, I’d be willing to give it a shot. I miss demos…

Wreckfest

This is yet another game that just was fully released a few days ago but I’m still having delusional hopes it might be on sale. I just like seeing cars smash up real good.

Descenders

Mountain bikes are cool. This game is about riding them. I could be into that for the right price.

I’m realizing at this point that I’m not genuinely excited to play some of these games, but more curious about them. So either I have to become a millionaire so I can buy all of these games without feeling bad about it, or there should be more demos and trials out there. But there’s a secret third option that could be good too, all of these games could be on sale for a buck each. I’d be okay with that too.