Monthly Archives: June 2019

Blog: Building a Better Zelda – 06/26/19

In 2017 we were graced with some real bangers on the gaming front. When I looked back through the releases of that year and issued my Game of The Year verdicts, I gave one of the top slots to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild. It was a truly extraordinary game that had me hooked from start to finish. Fast forward to this past E3 where it was announced that a sequel to said game was in development, and my mind immediately starting swirling with the possibilities a sequel could bring to the table.

To preface, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild isn’t a flawless game in my eyes, but it was still really damn good. I know there are things inherent to this new style of Zelda that probably wont be changed, but this list serves as both a realistic wish list, and some more general tweaks that would make this upcoming sequel the perfect Zelda for me.

LET ME PLAY AS ZELDA

I don’t think there’s been a main entry in The Legend of Zelda franchise that’s allowed you to play as the titular character herself, but it’s about time we rectified that. I’ve never been the biggest fan of the franchise over the years, but I’m pretty sure that Zelda herself does cool magic spells and stuff. When you put that in the context of the very systems driven world that is The Breath of The Wild, the possibilities for open world shenanigans goes up exponentially.

Imagine Zelda lighting up some bokoblin tree house with some fire spells and watching that thing just crumble into ash. Or if she summons some lighting bolt at a lynel who made the mistake of standing in a puddle. Once again, I don’t know that Zelda actually does that stuff, but I like to imagine that she totally can.

Also, the game is fucking called The Legend of Zelda, how about we let her have at the very least, one of them.

SOME SORT OF MULTIPLAYER ANGLE

We need to be careful when we ask for traditionally single player games to branch out into the multiplayer realm. We saw what happened with Fallout 76 and I’d prefer that didn’t happen here. But, I would love the ability to play as both Link and Zelda cooperating my way through the world with a friend.

But there’s a fine line on that request. What I don’t want is a game that just has an AI companion with you at all times that a friend can inhabit. I don’t want a situation where I have to switch between characters to complete a mainline dungeon or shrine either. I’d like the ability to wander around the world with a buddy, tackling the challenges available in the single player game, but also pepper in some cooperative specific dungeons and shrines.

The version I want is way more work obviously. Essentially I’m asking for two games in one that I can enjoy depending on my current situation. But hey, it’s a wish list, so I’m gonna go hog-wild on some of these.

NO MORE WEAPON DURABILITY

If there was one aspect of Breath of The Wild that I abhorred, it was the fact that everything had a shelf life. I get it, sticks break, clubs splinter, bows can snap and so on and so forth, but in a world of magic and wonder such as this, why do I have to deal with weaponry that shatters hilariously quickly?

Why does the “royal” weaponry crumble into dust after a few uses? Why is my champion’s shield capable of deflecting a few hits before I’m thoroughly fucked? This is a magic world where I can find a sword that shoots fucking laser beams, but I still have to be constrained by some shit-ass survival mechanics like weapon durability? Did you not see the thing I did where I summoned a tornado beneath me to launch myself into the air? That’s cool, but me using a sword too many times is out of the question?

At least make the Master Sword live up to the name. Don’t make it something that has to charge up to be used, let me just use the damn thing. I know it may not be a sticking point for a lot of people, but when you’re fighting a particularly difficult creature (lynel) and you’re already dealing with dodging every attack it throws at you, I don’t want to have to also consider my weapons evaporating mid fight. But that’s just me.

MORE OPPORTUNITIES

A lot of people criticized Breath of The Wild for not having traditional dungeons, which is something I can agree with to an extent. But what I’d take over those in a heartbeat, is just a better open world, filled with more interesting opportunities.

For instance, the best parts of Breath of The Wild for me was the joy of exploring. Sometimes you’d find a little korok puzzle, maybe a shrine and more than likely, something that wanted to kill you. What I want is almost in the vein of what Red Dead Redemption 2 did, and pepper in some interesting random events, as opposed to the obvious traveler would was actually a gang member in disguise. That one happened all the time, and wouldn’t you guess, it got really old, really quick.

I want more puzzles, more places to explore, more mystery and indirect storytelling. I want a world that feels lived in and alive with its own secrets to uncover. I really liked what Breath of The Wild brought to the table, but for a sequel, I need more.

BETTER BATTLES

You fought maybe 5 real bosses throughout the entirety of Breath of The Wild, which was fine, but with the exception of the last one, they were all fairly uninteresting. On top of that, there were only a handful of enemy types the were reused over and over. I want more variety in the things I have to fight, maybe some more stuff in the mid range difficulty of enemies. They had different color scales for enemies that would indicate their level of challenge, but that doesn’t scratch the itch for me. More interesting enemies to fight is what I decree, preferably less things like lynels.

In that same vein, I think the general combat could be better. When you went head to head with an enemy, you might find yourself in some really thrilling and exciting battles, but if there’s more than one threat near you, you basically need to run away until they stop following you. I’d like to feel a little more competent when fighting, and little less like a pinata holding a sword.

It’s a tight rope to walk for sure, but ideally I want something that strikes a balance between feeling formidable, and also having challenging enemies. I have no idea how you’d go about making that a reality, but during my entire play through of Breath of The Wild, I never felt strong, just lucky. Maybe that’s what they’re going for in the sequel, but I just feel like after the events of the first game, Link has got to be a wee bit more imposing and capable.

ITEMS

Breath of The Wild introduced a lot of new mechanics and abilities that I had a lot of fun with, but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t have minded a hookshot or a boomerang that didn’t break in it.

The Zelda franchise was pretty good at creating memorable and useful items, but I feel like in Breath of The Wild they axed a bunch of that stuff in favor of these all-purpose abilities you had. Which to be clear, I enjoyed slowing time and creating ice pillars and stuff, it just felt like a lot of possibilities were left on the table.

I know how challenging it would be to retain the nearly directionless open world Breath of The Wild had, while also providing you with a path to unlocking these helpful items, but it’s possible.

I ultimately want more tools I can use to mess around in the open world while also maybe breaking a few puzzles on my way. To me, there’s no better feeling in a game then when you see a puzzle before you and figure out a way to circumvent the whole thing. I feel like I just outsmarted the game or something.

But that’s what I want, more items and tools in my kit to use as creatively as possible.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m sure there are things that I’m forgetting, but these are my kind of gut-check thoughts about what a sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild could be. These are mostly things that I know will never come to pass, but some of them are genuine hopes, like playing as Zelda herself. And if that one is true, I get to see some of the worst takes on the internet about how “Nintendo is caving to SJW mentalities” or some stupid shit like that, so that’ll be fun.

Review: My Friend Pedro

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If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like if Spider-Man shot bullets instead of webs, then look no further than My Friend Pedro, a game about man, his guns, and his floating banana friend.

You take on the mantle of what has to be, the most potent killer of all time in My Friend Pedro, capable of slowing time, doing sick aerial stunts, riding motorcycles and using frying pans to overcome any and every threat. If that sounds cool, it’s because it is. My Friend Pedro arms you with not only the appropriate weaponry for dispatching your foes, but also puts you in situations where you’re encouraged to do more than just shoot everyone in sight.

Each level is broken up into rooms that more or less serve as tutorials for what’s to come. Say you’re dropping into a room with an enemy on either side of you at the bottom of it, that’s My Friend Pedro‘s way of telling you that you should consider splitting your aim to simultaneously obliterate both of them. Is that a frying pan in a room surrounded on all sides by bad guys? Just pump some bullets into it, and watch the ricochet take care of the rest. When things click in My Friend Pedro, it can lead to some of the most satisfying moments in video games.

But sometimes My Friend Pedro wants to fight with you and make things as convoluted as possible, requiring you to turn your hands into spiders capable of hitting all the right buttons at once. The default control scheme isn’t great, and often leads to your character coming out of slow motion at the wrong time, falling into a pit, or just getting shot in the dome. Every ounce of satisfaction you might feel, is prefaced by about nine moments of you sloppily fumbling through enemies and barely getting out alive.

You can press the left bumper to basically become invincible and dodge bullets by spinning around like you’re John Woo, but because of the default button placement along with some weird animation priority when you’re coming out of the spin, made it one of the least used moves in my arsenal. That is until the game would literally stop time as the final bullet that would kill me was rushing in my direction. That’s when My Friend Pedro will literally tell you that it’s time to dodge.

Oddly enough, for a side scrolling game, the camera sometimes serves as another obstacle. Often times the levels are just individual rooms of varying complexity, that are designed for you to conquer and move on to the next one. But that isn’t always the case, and these little shooting gallery puzzle rooms stretch out farther than the camera cares to show. The camera is zoomed in fairly close, which helps you navigate tight corridors more effectively and also see the dope shit you’re doing. But when you can’t see the wall of dudes with shotguns just on the other side of the room, and their flurry of bullets just keeps peppering you before you even know they’re there, it can be supremely frustrating.

But all of those grievances go away when you flawlessly erase a room without even getting touched. Every instance that I thought that maybe it was time to take a break, I’d do something outrageous, like skateboard through a window while doing a back flip, shooting two Uzis in separate directions. Or kicking a frying pan into the air, unloading ammo into it and watching one bullet hit an explosive next to a cluster of enemies. My Friend Pedro constantly puts you in situations where you could pull off awesome things, if you can manage to wrap your head around the controls long enough.

The biggest missteps My Friend Pedro takes are twofold though. Firstly, there’s a score they give you at the end of each level, ranking you from C to S ranks. Things like time and enemies killed are listed, but there’s literally no indication of what I could be doing better to obtain better rankings. I’m assuming the answer is just, “do cooler shit,” but some direction on that front couldn’t hurt.

Additionally, My Friend Pedro misses what might be my favorite feature of games like this, particularly Katana Zero, which is the ability to watch a full speed replay of the room or level you just went through. For all the slow motion coolness I pull off, I’d love to have seen what that looked like. It isn’t a deal breaker or anything, it just feels like a missed opportunity. They do cherry pick a moment from the level you can just export into a GIF which is nice, but you have no say in what moment it is.

All things considered, I enjoyed my time with My Friend Pedro. It was a short and sweet game that let me live out my wildest action movie dreams, albeit not as nimbly as I would have hoped for. There’s a lot less of me falling into holes and getting shot in the face in my imagination. But if you can deal with some often times floaty and loose controls, and really want to do some cool Matrix moves in a modern video game, My Friend Pedro is a pretty good compromise.

My Friend Pedro is currently available on Steam and the Nintendo Switch. This review is based off of the Steam version.

Blog: Bite Sized Impressions – 06/19/19

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Now that E3 is over and I’ve had some time away from the annual gaming blitz that it is, I’ve been trying to take some time and play try out some games I missed over the years. Since signing up for the PC version of Game Pass, I’ve had access to some particular titles that I’ve wanted to try, but never got around to. It’s weird though, because I can’t seem to play games for more than like 45 minutes at a time these days without feeling the urge to go take a walk or something. With that being said, here are some genuine, super duper early impressions of some of the stuff I’ve tried thus far.

VAMPYR

I’ve had my eye on this one for a while, and it might be the only game on this list I actually stick with in any real way. Vampyr is a choice driven, action RPG by the people behind the Life Is Strange series. So like, choices seem to matter. From what little I’ve dabbled in, the combat is serviceable but simple so far, but the stuff that’s been hinted at as far as story mechanics are very exciting.

Since you’re a vampire in this game, you can just start going to town on just about everyone you meet. Different NPCs have different qualities of blood that have XP numbers attached to them. So the drunk guy in the bar had pretty poor blood which wouldn’t help me out that much, but the guy renting the room upstairs had some crazy alluring blood.

I assume that as you play on, whomever you choose to… drain, will result in something happening in the world. Allusions to quest lines vanishing and the way people react to you were hinted at, and that’s all very exciting to me. They also do this thing where blood acts like mana, allowing you to do special vampire attacks when you have it. So you can be the good guy and not feast on the townsfolk or enemies, but I guess you wont be doing some cool blood spells at anyone because of it. Seems pretty rad honestly.

WEST OF LOATHING

What a weird game this is. It’s this stick figure styled, adventure game with turn based RPG combat. It’s got some cheeky writing in it, but I constantly feel like I’m not doing the right thing. For instance, at the beginning you can choose one follower, so I chose the lady with a gun. And good thing I did, because she does way more damage than I could ever hope to. She’s one-shotting fools left and right, while I’m gently scratching the backs of my enemies.

I’m having trouble articulating exactly what this game is, because it’s this weird amalgam of different games and mechanics. The closest analog I can come up with is Paper Mario, and that’s me being generous. Despite how much I want a new Paper Mario game, West of Loathing just isn’t filling that void for me.

West of Loathing lives and dies by its sense of humor. If you’re not onboard with it’s snarky tone and stick figure aesthetic, nothing else in the game will end up winning you over.

RIVERBOND

It took me way longer than it should have for me to remember what game this was, because it turns out I actually wrote about it over a year ago. I liked the way it looked back then, and I still like it now. What I’m not enjoying so much is how repetitive and lifeless the gameplay is. Like I mentioned, I’m only an hour into this game at most, but all I’ve really had to do in Riverbond is skirt around enemies while hitting the attack button, and moving on. There are occasions where you’ll want to pull out your gun and press the attack button until a thing dies, but it really doesn’t matter what you do as long as you don’t die.

I hate to rag on this game, but it was just such a disappointment from the jump. It isn’t a bad game by any stretch, just a forgettable one.

CRACKDOWN 3

I have some pretty fond memories around Crackdown and considerably less that are tied to Crackdown 2, but this entry in the franchise is mostly confounding. I think I’m enjoying Crackdown 3 despite how flawed it is.

From top to bottom, there are glaring issues in Crackdown 3 that are absolutely infuriating. For instance, Crackdown 3 utilizes the basest concept of a “combat puzzle” by encouraging you to use different weapon types against certain enemy types. Fire and poison work great on people, but not as effective on robots. You get the deal. That’s a neat thing in concept, but it’s all kind of undermined by the fact that when I hit the button to change weapons, and the game just doesn’t do it, that’s bad. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve died because the game demanded that my character, in this superhero game about moving around and being badass, stand still in order to swap weapons.

And it isn’t exclusive to weapon swapping either. Sometimes you’ll try to climb a ledge or pull yourself up onto a flat surface, and the game just wont. Certain objects in the game will downright deny you the ability to climb, especially troubling when it’s the only surface in the ocean that isn’t covered in enemies.

Another wonderful thing Crackdown 3 does is recycle. Yes, it’s good for the environment, but when you literally are liberating the same exact outposts just in different locations, it gets really old really fast.

But despite how apparent its flaws are, Crackdown 3 is still just fun to play. It’s satisfying to throw a car at a mech. It’s satisfying to lob the lifeless husk of an enemy at a few of their surviving compatriots. It’s fun, mindless action and mayhem that in anything more than small doses, could be extremely frustrating and boring.

I still have some games installed that I need to get around to trying, but I feel like I should finish a game before I move on. It’s been quite a while since I’ve actually beaten a game. That’s incredibly weird to me.

E3 2019: Other Games – Part 2

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Following up on the last post about lesser known games, here’s another! These aren’t main stage kind of games, rather, smaller and often weirder offerings. Here we go.

ANCESTORS: THE HUMANKIND ODYSSEY

I love this idea. The concept of playing as a creature and watching them evolve based on my actions and decisions, is pretty cool. From what was said at E3, it seems like this isn’t the only creature at your disposal, and you’ll experience large changes in the creatures physiology as you progress. Hopefully the world also adapts in line with the things you do. For instance, if my group of creatures just hang around an area for generations, eating up all the food and hunting the wildlife, I’d like to see that area becomes less populated by your potential prey. But we’ll see how it comes together when it releases on August 27th.

CONTROL

Control is the interesting case of a game that sounded fairly interesting when it was first revealed, and as I’ve heard more about it, has gotten more and more alluring. What seemed like a blend between Psi-Ops and Alan Wake, apparently also has some branching dialogue options, which is very exciting to me, as well as hearing the moment to moment action holds up. Control has the potential to be one of the biggest games coming out this year, I just hope it delivers.

MANEATER

Now here’s a game I can get behind. We’ve all known for a while that humanity is garbage and needs to be taken down a peg. What better way to do that than by being an everything-eating-shark? People? Chomped. Boats? Chomped. Things on the land? Probably also gonna get chomped. I’ve been very eager to get my hands on Maneater when it comes out later this year.

MOVING OUT

Now if anyone has paid any attention to this site in the past, you’ll know that wacky physics and seemingly mundane tasks are home runs for me. Moving Out seems to be nailing both of those things. It also has some for of cooperative gameplay, which while exciting, I hope doesn’t steal the spotlight from whatever single player offerings might be available. I’d love to have just as much of a good time alone, as I would destroying the possibility of getting a security deposit back, with a friend. It should be out sometime this year.

PLASTICITY

So fun fact, Plasticity is actually out and playable right now. As I’m writing this, it’s downloading on Steam. It looks like the kind of emotional, atmospheric, puzzle-platformer with a message, that I love so much. Shades of Inside and Limbo are on display here, and that’s enough for me to give it a shot. Also, it’s free, so that’s a big plus.

SLOPPY FORGERIES

Creating art, meaningful art, is hard. Sloppy Forgeries is a game about taking art, and doing it as fast and accurately as you can in order to prove to your friends that you’re a better artist than them. It’s the kind of game that will be fun to play about 3 times before your friends figure out who the most artistic among them is, and never play again. Sign me up.

TOO MANY COOKS

I don’t know how many of you remember the incredibly fun phone game from a few years ago called Spaceteam, but the short pitch on it was that every person had different buttons and dials on their device and had to coordinate with the others to avoid catastrophe. This seems like the same concept, but with cooking. The way these games usually resolve is by someone getting a text message and missing a task, resulting in everyone yelling at them.

SPEAKING SIMULATOR

If you need a paragraph about why I’m so intrigued by this ridiculous game, then I haven’t properly introduced myself. I’m Ari, and weird games are always welcome in my dojo.

There you go, the second installment of some smaller games I heard about from E3 this year. I think this might be it for E3 coverage out of us. That is, unless something crazy is announced, but for the time being, thanks for rockin’ with us.

E3 2019: Other Games – Part 1

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Not every game makes it onto one of the main stages during E3, it turns out that there are a lot of video games out there. But these games deserve their acknowledgements in some way, so here are some games that are worth checking out for one reason or another.

POLICE STORIES

Considering there hasn’t been a proper SWAT game in a while, I’ve had to look to smaller developers to scratch the very specific itch that represents tactical infiltration/shooting. I’m hoping that Police Stories can fill that void for me. The promise of co-op is fun, and while normally I’m not a fan of run-based games with procedurally generated levels, this seems like one of the few games where the latter feature could work well. Procedurally generated levels with random enemy placement makes sense for a game where you have to react to new situations all the time. Police Stories is set to release on September 19th of this year.

BLOODROOTS

When you look at the trailer, it can be hard to tell exactly what is going on in Bloodroots, but after playing the demo it all became pretty clear. In Bloodroots, you’re basically this speed demon of a man, who zips across these combat arenas picking up every weapon they can find, and chaining together attacks against the enemies stationed in the area. It’s a combat puzzle in the same way that Hotline Miami was. You’ll die over and over, but you’ll also learn enemy placements and habits. Luckily, you can pick up basically anything to use as a weapon, from axes, to ladders and even a rubber duck. It was very fun and satisfying, and you can try the demo out for yourselves, if you want to know what you’re in for before it releases this summer.

RAWMEN

There is no universe in which I see Rawmen catching on in a significant way, but, I wish it would. Look at this game, it’s got everything! Splatoon inspired combat, large man running around in the nude hurling hot stew at each other, character customization, various traversal options, and a Harry Belafonte song in the trailer. It’s the perfect game? Discuss.

FREEDOM FINGER

So this one is weird because I actually don’t know that I’ll ever play it. I’m mostly highlighting Freedom Finger for the style it has. It’s got this Adult Swim style to it which I kind of adore, a surprising amount of big name voice actors starring in it, and an awesome soundtrack. I don’t know how much I’ll enjoy the attitude it’s got, but one the basis of style alone, I’m into it.

SKATEBIRD

I’ve wanted Skate 4 for a very long time now, but I gotta say, Skatebird looks charming as hell. What a novel idea this is, not just because of the fact that it’s little birds riding around on finger skateboards, but because of the gameplay implications it could have. The ability to get a little more height on a jump to nail a trick or make it over a gap seems like it could add a decent bit variety to the skateboarding genre.

SUMMER CATCHERS

I like me some pixel art, and I like me some good chip-tunes. I also very much like it when I can watch a game trailer like 4 times and not know what the hell is going on. But that’s Summer Catchers, a game about — something. What really catches my eye is the fact that this looks like a game about a road trip which I think is a subject matter I’d enjoy seeing more of. Also the variety in the mini-games they displayed, it looked like some decent ways to break up whatever you’re doing normally in the game. I don’t know, Summer Catchers looks neat, and I will definitely be checking it out whenever it releases.

Blog: Nobody Puts Game Pass in the Corner – 06/12/19

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There are tons of different services out there that provide what essentially is, “The Netflix of Games.” With EA’s Origin Access, the upcoming Google Stadia, the recently announced Ubisoft+, Discord’s Nitro offerings and so on and so forth. But let me tell you about what might be the best and most exciting one of all, Xbox Game Pass — specifically, the one for PC.

A few days ago at their E3 conference, Microsoft unveiled their $15 a month Game Pass bundle that includes both Xbox and PC Game Passes, plus an Xbox Live subscription. A few years earlier, they announced their play anywhere initiative, which said that all first party games will be playable on Xbox and PC. Now that both of these announcements have come and gone, and the Xbox Game Pass PC version (what a name) is available for only $5 a month, it leaves little reason for me to ever own another Xbox again.

But that isn’t the point here. What is the point is how good the offerings are on the Game Pass PC. I won’t go through the entire list here, but there are some bangers on here.

ASTRONEER

I really enjoyed Astroneer when it was in early access. Since it released, I shamefully haven’t tried it out, but I recommend anyone who is looking for a chill space, survival game, immediately check out Astroneer.

GEARS OF WAR 4/ULTIMATE EDITION

With the sequel only a few months away, now’s a great time to revisit the incredibly fun yet forgettable, Gears of War 4. Admittedly, I never finished it, but, now I have an avenue to do so should I ever want to.

Also, the remaster of the first Gears of War is on the service too. Just saying.

ORI & THE BLIND FOREST

The incredibly fun and challenging platformer, Ori & The Blind Forest is available too, which is good considering the sequel isn’t too far away and will also be on Game Pass. Also, this game will make you feel things. So watch out.

PREY

Prey was always one of those games that I wanted to try but never got around to. With shades of Bioshock and System Shock poking through, the game offered what many critics considered a fun, yet occasionally terrifying game with a great story.

SHENMUE I&II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiVbFmlTnec

I won’t attempt to defend Shenmue as a franchise, but it did have some pretty impressive stuff in it for the time. The clockwork world, quick time events, the densely populated areas where you can interact with everyone. All of it was ahead of it’s time and deserves that praise. Was it fun to play though? Not really. But you can experience the infamous hunt for sailors for yourself in preparation for the impending sequel.

STATE OF DECAY 2

While State of Decay 2 wasn’t the game for me, I acknowledge that for a lot of people, the zombie survival/management sim that released, was. It’s a game full of bold ideas, all of which circle around the concept of base building, and personnel management. Also there’s zombies everywhere.

VAMPYR

I really wanted to try out Vampyr for a while now. If I remember correctly, you’re a doctor who has been turned into a vampire, and has to investigate something? I don’t remember. What I do remember though is that you talk to a bunch of citizens, and shoot werewolves a bunch. It’s an action RPG in a setting we just don’t get enough of.

WOLFENSTEIN II

I think we as a people need to once again embrace the idea that eradicating Nazis is cool and not taboo. What better way to remind yourself of that fact, than by playing a game where you go around an alternate history version of America where they lost WW2 and the filthy Nazis took over? Oh, I should mention that you’re killing them with guns and bombs and stuff in order to free America from the Nazi menace. It’s fun and patriotic.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, “eh, none of those games did it for me,” and I get that. But there might be something on the list that might sway you. And look, I’m not doing this cause I want to advertise the service or anything, this was all spurred on because I genuinely enjoy the service. That, and the upcoming titles look great. Let’s take a look, shall we?

HALO INFINITE

Look man, I was gonna play this game one way or another, and knowing that I don’t need to buy a new console to enjoy it is all the better. When Halo Infinite launches next year, I’ll be there.

HALO THE MASTER CHIEF COLLECTION

What’s that you say? You don’t need Game Pass till the next Halo launches? But what about The Master Chief Collection then? Yeah buddy, you’re gonna get access to that entire package when it begins to roll out in a few months. Hot damn.

AGE OF EMPIRES I, II & III DEFINITIVE EDITIONS

In the past, I’ve heard people go nuts for this franchise. I’m actually curious to see what all the fuss is about. Considering the last actual RTS game I played was Rise of Nations, I’m curious if this will scratch a similar itch.

MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIMULATOR

Shut up, I think it looks cool and fun. I wanna fly some sick-ass planes and do it in a world powered by Google Maps. I want to fly a plane over my house and go somewhere nicer, so I pretend I’m leaving here. Shut up.

That isn’t all of the upcoming games, that list has a few more on it. But more interestingly is what games they don’t have announced, that they’ll add to the service. Only a few days ago, critically acclaimed new releases like Void Bastards and The Outer Wilds were added to the list, so you never know what new game is going to make the cut.

Out of all of the available services, Xbox Game Pass PC has the best selection of games that I want to play on it. Also, I think it’s the cheapest of the offerings at only $4.99 a month. I’m enjoying Game Pass, and I just wanted to sing it’s praises a bit as we become more and more over encumbered with similar services.

E3 2019: Nintendo

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Ah Nintendo, it wasn’t too long ago that everyone made fun of you for making the most backwards decisions possible. While you still make some absolutely bonkers choices, you’ve earned a ton of goodwill since the Switch launched. Personally, I want to know more about Animal Crossing, Super Mario Maker 2, and hopefully some information on the future of Nintendo’s online service, whether that’s new NES games or even SNES or N64 stuff to their offering.

Well, let’s see how wrong I was about all of this, and shine the light on Nintendo, for this, the last of our conference coverage for the week.

SUPER SMASH BROS. ULTIMATE

What better way to kick off E3 than by announcing a new character for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Or maybe 6 characters? They weren’t incredibly clear about how many characters are joining the fight, but my guess is it’s just one character with a couple of different costumes.

Oh, it’s a Dragon Quest character, probably should’ve mentioned that. For those of you still playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, I hope this is what you wanted. Another anime character in Smash. I hear the Smash community loves those.

LUIGI’S MANSION 3

I never had the chance to play the second Luigi’s Mansion on the 3DS, and in the face of this announcement, I now realize how upset I am by that fact. Luigi’s Mansion 3 looks so charming and pleasant, adding in a bunch of new features in terms of ghost hunting and multiplayer modes.

I always appreciated how Nintendo was able to make a lighthearted game in a spooky setting while also constantly just giving Luigi the short end of the stick. I look forward to it releasing later this year.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: LINK’S AWAKENING

Here’s another one I never got to play, back when it made it’s initial debut. The top down, 2D Zelda games never did the trick for me like the 3D ones, but this one looks so darn cute and adorable, that I’m willing to give this game a shot.

Also, they’re putting in a dungeon maker mode? I hope this is the backdoor pilot to Nintendo actually releasing a full Zelda maker in the vein of Mario Maker. It’ll be out on September 20th, 2019, and I will certainly be getting it.

THE WITCHER 3

It’s impressive as hell that they managed to put The Witcher 3 on the Switch and I don’t want to detract from that. But I’ve spoken about The Witcher 3 before, and while I do genuinely like the game, I don’t know that the Switch version is going to be the best way to experience it. That game had trouble playing on modern consoles as is, and I can’t imagine what it will be like on the Switch. Otherwise it’s a fantastic game that I ended up turning on god mode for most of.

Hopefully it works great and people can enjoy that game on the go. It’s due out later this year.

NO MORE HEROES 3

I have a confession, I’ve never played a No More Heroes game, but I’ve always heard good things about the series, but never got a chance to play it. I have no idea what to expect from the third title, but from my understanding, they’re traditionally fun third person action games. I think it also is a game that has attitude, for whatever that’s worth. With a nebulous 2020 release date, we’ll see how it shapes up.

ASTRAL CHAIN

From what I can gather, in this cool looking action game, you capture the enemies you’re fighting to use their abilities in combat. It looks cooler than I’m describing. You’re basically fighting these big monsters, throwing a chain at them, and then taking control of them at utilizing their abilities in combat while you’re chained to them.

It sounds interesting enough. It comes out on August 30th of this year.

MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 3

I always had a hard time getting into the Ultimate Alliance games for various reasons, and lower on that list was the camera angle. I know that the point of the game is to see your allies and cooperate with them, but it always left me feeling a little disconnected from the action on screen. This one seems to have a more traditional 3rd person camera angle while continuing to trade in the same basic action loop the past games did.

Otherwise, I’ve always enjoyed the pitch of the Ultimate Alliance games. All of these superheroes team up to fight an even bigger baddie. It’s a simple concept, but one that manages to hook me every time.

It comes out on July 19th, and I will certainly be checking it out.

ANIMAL CROSSING NEW HORIZONS

Welcome to my deserted island that’s overrun by enterprising raccoons. Animal Crossing New Horizons looks incredible, not only visually, but mechanically. It seems like it’s going for a slightly more survival focused gameplay loop. The player crafted a “flimsy axe” which leads me to believe there’s gonna be some sort of item degradation in it. Also there seemed to be an emphasis on changing weather, which I’m into.

This is all just me speculating, but it seems like they’re trying to add more emphasis on moment to moment gameplay, making you think about your items and needs in the short term, as opposed to just thinking about long term goals.

It’s a shame that it isn’t coming this year, but it won’t be too much longer of a wait, considering it releases in March of 2020.

BANJO KAZOOIE!

They’re putting Banjo-Kazooie in Smash. Everyone can finally shut up and be cool for once… right? This is great, everyone has been clamoring for this for a long time, and it was this inevitable thing that just needed to happen already. They’ll be added to the game this fall.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD SEQUEL

In what could be the spookiest announcement of the conference, a sequel to 2017’s monumental Breath of the Wild, was announced to be in development. It’s safe to assume that it’s going to play just like Breath of The Wild, so if you didn’t like that, too bad. That’s really it for info, but it’s exciting nonetheless.

More exciting is the prospect of how Nintendo hopes to recapture what made Breath of The Wild so engaging in the first place. The sense of discovery and exploration was incredible, but if we’re traipsing around the same map, I wonder how that sentiment holds up. I’d like to see maybe a new map, or a map so remixed it’s barely recognizable. Also, I think it’s time to let us play as Zelda.

Without a trace of Bayonetta, Metroid, new hardware or any info on their online service, some could look at this presentation as a whiff. I thought this presentation was great though. Still upset about Animal Crossing and it being delayed, but whatever. Nintendo’s lineup for this year looks great.

And that’s it folks. Thanks for riding with us for these conference overviews. There should be some more E3 coverage this week, but not a ton more. After all, I am in New York and can only do so much, but thank you again for sticking with us. See you around.

E3 2019: Square Enix

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Final Fantasy. Yeah, I get it it, a lot of people are jazzed about that remake coming next March, but how about that Avengers project huh? I’m definitely not writing this before the actual presentation, inevitably setting myself up for disappointment or anything. But yeah, this is probably going to be the shortest of the E3 write-ups I do, unless Square Enix brings the heat in other, non-Final Fantasy forms.

Let’s take a look!

FINAL FANTASY 7 REMAKE

A lot of people are really into this game, like, to a scary degree. I never fell in love with Final Fantasy 7, or any JRPG in general, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t interested in trying this version out. FF7 is one of the weird blank spots in my gaming history, and while most of the fans have made talking about it insufferable, I’d still like to try this game out in some aspect.

It looks like they changed the combat up for this remake, leaning into real time combat much more while also allowing for a sort of Dragon Age styled tactical mode where time slows to a halt, allowing you to pick from a list of advanced attacks.

If I could play this game like a more traditional action game, I think I’d be more willing to try it out. But I don’t know that this is what fans of Final Fantasy 7 are looking for as far as this remake. Or maybe they’ll eat it up without any issues. Doubtful, but maybe fans will be cool about this for once.

The remake is slated to come out early next year, March 3rd, 2020.

A BUNCH OF ANIME GAMES

We got a bunch of trailers for other JRPG remasters and ports, alongside Dragon Quest Builders 2 and a remaster of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. Some of the stuff shown looked cool, but nothing that really did much of anything for me.

CIRCUIT SUPERSTARS

A top down, R.C. Pro Am style game with a layer of tuning and strategy was shown off, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit interested. Since the Burnout series… burnt out, I haven’t really been playing much of any racing games, but this one looks like something I’d check out.

DYING LIGHT 2

Shout out to Dying Light for using a Metric song in their trailer, it makes me want this game even more. Unfortunately, the trailer didn’t do much in the way of new footage, but it did come with a nebulous, spring 2020 release date.

OUTRIDERS

A new shooter from People Can Fly, they didn’t show off too much of Outriders, but from what little I did see, it looks like a third person shooter where you’ll create a character, all with this weird, post-apocalyptic yet demonic looking aesthetic. A lot of weird demonic looking beasts were shown off, but not much else. They’ll say more about this winter.

MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS

In what might be the most confusing and nebulous announcement of all of E3, Marvel’s The Avengers, specifically the presentation about out was one of the most confounding things I’ve ever seen. They aren’t following the MCU, rather, building their own version of the Avengers canon to work with.

The story has the Avengers fucking up and getting outlawed and fighting back from that, I suppose. People in the crowd kept shouting at this point.

After a while of saying absolutely nothing, they got around to announcing playable characters, Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and Black Widow. Take that Hawkeye.

Then we cut to a weird sit down with the voice actors behind the 5 playable characters which was an… interesting choice. I wish they would’ve talked about this in maybe a developer diary video that wasn’t on an E3 stage, but whatever. I would’ve genuinely preferred seeing more gameplay, we got some more cut scenes which is better than nothing.

After a short cut scene, we got more people walking out on stage and talking about the game. No pay to win and no loot boxes were listed as talking points, which means cosmetics are definitely in the mix.

Notably absent was any gameplay. I have no idea how the game works or plays or anything. It was this weird feeling of them hiding the gameplay from us or something, I don’t think that’s the case, but that was the vibe they put off.

Oddly enough, they’re showing off actual gameplay at their booth, but felt the need to not show anything about that on their stage. I just wish they didn’t withhold so much information about the game, and felt the need to be more coy about it.

Whatever Marvel’s The Avengers ends up being, is out on May 15th, 2020.

And that’s that. A conference filled with a bunch of games that weren’t for me, and the ones that did pique my interest, were oddly vague. This show felt like a real love letter to fans of Square games from the past, with a bunch of remasters and remakes being announced. Good on them, now please tell me more about Marvel’s The Avengers.

E3 2019: Ubisoft

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One thing you can always count on from a Ubisoft E3 conference, is it’s gonna be weird, people are gonna be dancing, and they’re going to continue to act like their games are apolitical. So here we go, let’s take a look at the stuff Ubisoft brought to the stage that I considered worth writing about.

Keep in mind, a lot of this conference was about updating the games they have out at the moment, and considering I don’t really live in any of those ecosystems, don’t expect to see much of that in the feature below.

ODE TO A SOUNDTRACK THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS

Opening the show was something called the Assassin’s Creed Symphony, playing a lovely medley of of what I assume is music from the Assassin’s Creed games. A weird choice considering this year we’re not supposed to get a new entry in the franchise, and also, I don’t know that any of the music is particularly memorable. It’s good music for sure, but not something I could ever recall if you asked me to.

But the reality of it was that this was some hype for the Assassin’s Creed Symphony tour that’s coming up. That’s neat.

WATCH DOGS LEGION

I love the aesthetic that Watch Dogs Legion is hitting upon here, this slightly futuristic, post-Brexit London, where extremists and gangs rein supreme. Things are kicking off in a major way here though, with so many different gameplay elements being highlighted. Particularly the part where they went from playing as a street thug, died, and then started playing as an old lady. She’s a hacking old lady who used a freaking drone that’s just jumping on people’s faces. Then she pulled out a gun an iced some fools.

The whole pitch here is that you can play as anyone in the city. You recruit new resistance members based on their stats and abilities. Some people were better hackers, fighters, drivers, etc. It actually seems like an awesome idea that probably took a long time to make work well.

Slightly disappointing was the amount of gun-play in the game. I was hoping to see more focus on using your hacking powers and hand to hand combat than just shooting fools. Like, sure, in games shooting stuff is fun, but I was hoping that with the gun laws in London, that would be more apparent in the game.

Also, I’m very unclear of how an actual story will weave together when anyone can be a main character. Either that isn’t the case, or the story is going to feel so nebulous and vague that it feels disjointed.

After the gameplay demo, the director of the game reiterated the fact that anyone can be recruited and played as. I’m assuming that there are going to be pretty influential NPCs that will kind of shepherd whatever the player character is forward. At some point, player voices and backstories will have to be reused, right? It’s gotta be something where, there are like 5 different kind of old ladies in the world with their own voices and animations, and it reused over and over. Or not, who knows.

It’s out next March.

MYTHIC QUEST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a5tWM5yQZA

It’s a show from the creators of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia about a game studio that made the biggest MMO in the world. Here’s hoping that at least an entire season or two focuses on unionization in the games industry.

20 bucks says that if this show goes well, someone will actually make this fake MMO game into a reality.

The show looks like it could be okay, but boy howdy it’s got one hell of a mountain to climb. It’s coming to Apple Plus, a service that I’ve only just heard of, right now.

BRAWLHALLA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQWPLKHv2TU

The free to play Super Smash Bros game is getting some Adventure Time characters in it. I like both of these properties and it’s nice to see that they’re still supporting this game with new content. I gotta say, I don’t know if the show is still going or if it’s relevant at all these days, but it seems to be a cool content infusion for a game I forgot existed.

GHOST RECON BREAKPOINT

I didn’t hate Ghost Recon Wildlands, it was just a very repetitive game that I didn’t have people to play with. Jon Bernthal is in the game as the lead villain which he seems to pull off very well. After a CG trailer of Mr. Bernthal being angry and hyping up his army, he walked out on stage with an adorable pit bull who looked very scared of being there. I have no idea why he was out there, but I’m very happy he was.

Then we cut to a trailer of people shooting other people in the woods and doing some military hand signals at each other. I’d play this game only to get more of Mr. Bernthal’s acting. My only hope is that this time around, they put in a button that allows me to snap to cover instead of that auto-cover nonsense.

And here’s something for the hardest of the hardcore Ghost Recon fans, an exclusive streaming and content portal just for fans of the games. It was weird, but probably something the fans will really appreciate and hopefully actually use.

Yet again, there’s another Terminator crossover in this game, cause of course. It comes out on October 4th.

ELITE SQUAD

Uh, they’re making a Tom Clancy themed mobile game. It’s some tactical shooting game called Elite Squad. They put Sam Fisher in it which is the meanest thing they could’ve done quite frankly. This is what they do with one of their most recognizable characters – put him in a mobile game instead of his own title.

JUST DANCE 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtiXKHNAFew

They’re doing it! The big elaborate dancing sequence where a person in a panda bear costume comes out and dances with a bunch of other brightly dressed dancers. It was just as weird and uncomfortable as it always was. Thank goodness for Ubisoft.

Also, I guess they’re putting another one of these games out this year. Whatever.

RAINBOW SIX QUARANTINE

How do you feel about a spooky scary Rainbow Six game where you and two other players take on some monsters or something? Claiming this to be the Rainbow Six Siege of PVE games, it’s a big claim that I bet could work well. It’s weird though, cause Rainbow Six was always about some tactical, military realism, and this very much seems like a departure from that.

Hopefully it works out well for them.

UPLAY +

You know what this is. It’s another game subscription service you can pay into to play all the latest releases along with a catalog of classic games. The service is coming to Stadia, allowing you to utilize this service anywhere in theory. The price is in line with other services like this, at $14.99 a month, it seemed almost inevitable that this would happen.

ROLLER CHAMPIONS

“A skill-based, team PVP sports game.” That’s what they said about the game. With no real details, they came out and just dropped this trailer for a game without any real information, then said that you can download a demo for the game today. So that’s cool. Then, almost as if they had messed up and announced the demo too early, they showed off a gameplay trailer, which also didn’t tell me anything about this game.

It looks like a mesh of NFL Street and a roller derby. I’ll try the demo though. Why the hell not?

GODS & MONSTERS

The last trailer of the conference was for a game that I guess exists that had absolutely no information about it. It was colorful and made it seem like it would be a more lighthearted adventure game in the vein of Assassin’s Creed. They said it’s a game that heavily focuses on mythology. So who knows what that means.

And it just ended. For a Ubisoft conference, it felt kind of lifeless and straightforward. Also, where the hell is Splinter Cell? It’s getting to the point where they keep putting Sam Fisher into their games, without providing players any modern context for who the character is. The last Splinter Cell was in 2013 and was on the Xbox 360. We’re rapidly approaching the point where we’ve had a generation without a game in the franchise, but the lead character has shown up several times.

What I’m saying is that it’s a crime that there isn’t another Splinter Cell game, and I’m upset. But Watch Dogs Legion looked cool. The rest of the conference was a little muted for my taste. It felt like they’re playing it safe until the next generation of consoles come out.

E3 2019: Devolver Digital

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Devolver Digital is a weird as hell company that publishes some pretty amazing games. I usually don’t enjoy their conferences cause they try way too hard to be funny, but I’m not here for that, just their games.

FALL GUYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OAVHWmeV0c

I have no idea what this game is about, but it looks like it could be a neat little party game. Historically, party games suck, but maybe this one will be the exception to the rule.

DEVOLVER BOOTLEG

So for a price, you can go to Steam, to buy this bootleg launcher that plays bootleg versions of Devolver games. It’s actually kind of a novel concept. It allows you to play knockoffs of games like Enter the Gungeon, Hotline Miami and others. This is very much my kind of game, and I can’t wait to play these raggedy versions of the games I know.

CARRION

Consider this, you’re a nightmare tentacle monster tasked with consuming everything in your path. It’s bloody and gory and looks super satisfying. Also it’s out next year on PC and console.

ENTER THE GUNGEON: HOUSE OF THE GUNDEAD

They’re making a literal light-gun game for arcades based on Enter the Gungeon. That actually looks like a neat idea. I wonder how many arcades will pick it up though, cause I doubt the name recognition around Enter the Gungeon is that high. But whatever, it’s a great idea that I hope pays off for them.

THE MESSENGER: PICNIC PANIC

There’s a new, free expansion for The Messenger coming out on July 11th that looks like the perfect excuse to get back into that game I enjoyed so much from last year. It’s a tropical spin on what might have been one of the coolest side scrolling action games of last year. And hey, free is the exact right price for it.

MY FRIEND PEDRO

I’ve been so excited for My Friend Pedro to come out, and on June 20th it finally is. It’s a side scrolling shooter based entirely around the concept of bullet time and being an unbelievably efficient killing machine. Things like riding skateboards and shooting dual uzis, or throwing a frying pan in the air to ricochet bullets off of it into dude’s brains are just some of the cool features of My Friend Pedro.

As always, it only lasted a few minutes, but managed to deliver one or two interesting things. For instance, The Messenger expansion looks awesome and Carrion seems like an extremely cool game. Otherwise, I just can’t reiterate how much I hate their sense of humor that they pump into their conferences. This time it ended with a Terminator themed thing that is just tedious.