Tag Archives: Nintendo

E3 2021: What’s Looking Good, Nintendo?

Even though it’s been a few days since E3 2021 actually wrapped up and our collective consciousness is rapidly moving away from the event itself, there’s still a lot to say about what we saw on display. Today’s subject is none other than the purveyors of the plumber, the masters of the mustache, Nintendo.

It sure feels like every year people have their long lists of Nintendo “dream announcements” that never actually get fulfilled, and this year didn’t do much to allay that perception. Notably Nintendo didn’t talk about their long rumored new Switch model, nor did they talk about long awaited games like Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4, or even games they announced last year such as Splatoon 3. Nintendo remains an enigma to me, but there was still some stuff they touched on that I’d love to highlight.

One thing I want to mention upfront is how weird it was to see literally nothing in the way of Animal Crossing: New Horizons content. I feel like the player base of that game, myself included, have been clamoring for something new or interesting to come along so that we can have a reason to return to our, undoubtedly overgrown islands. But it’s starting to feel more and more like Nintendo had no real plan in place for supporting Animal Crossing beyond its first year, so I hope y’all like Bunny Day, cause that’s all we’re gonna get apparently.

SUPER MONKEY BALL BANANA MANIA

It has been way too long since we’ve gotten a proper Monkey Ball game, and while we’re not actually getting a new one, we are getting this pack of the first three console games in the series: Super Monkey Ball, Super Monkey Ball 2, and Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Now I have very little experience with the series because I never actually owned a Gamecube, but Super Monkey Ball was definitely one of the few games I saw on that console that made me really want that little purple lunchbox with the terrible controller.

I’m glad to see Monkey Ball return in some fashion though. Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania comes out this year on October 5th and according to some retailers, the package is listed at $39.99 which is probably the most I’d consider paying for this collection if we’re being honest. I’m actually surprised it isn’t more, but considering it is a SEGA property maybe that’s why the price is more palatable. We literally saw Nintendo do this not too long ago with the Super Mario 3D All-Stars bundle, where they charged full price for a collection of ports of “classic” 3D Mario titles. Speaking of Nintendo severely overvaluing their products…

MARIO PARTY SUPERSTARS

I really don’t actually give a damn about Mario Party or any of its many iterations, but Mario Party Superstars is probably the smartest move they could make with this miserable series. With remastered “classic” maps and mini-games, along with online play right out of the box, I think this is the way to properly capitalize on the misguided nostalgia people have for this series. Curiously however, there’s also online matchmaking which sounds like a good idea in theory, but man, I already don’t want to play Mario Party to begin with, but doing it with random strangers seems even worse somehow.

Incredibly, Nintendo is going to be charging the full sixty bucks for this one when it drops on October 29th of this year.

METROID DREAD

I’ve never been the biggest Metroid fan, but I’ve enjoyed a couple of the iterations that have come out over the years. I’ve never messed with the Prime trilogy, but I’ve dabbled with the original Metroid, Super Metroid and I think maybe I played a bit of Metroid Fusion, but I might just be imagining that last one. My point is that I’m way more onboard for a new 2D Metroid game than I am for Metroid Prime 4, a game that might never come out.

I suppose my biggest question is what genre of game we attribute Metroid Dread to, because it seems silly to classify a Metroid game as a Metroidvania, but like, it’s right there in the title. See these are the big questions I’m willing to waste a paragraph on as well as your precious attention span.

It has been a while though since I’ve actually strapped on my Varia suit and rolled up into a little bomb-dropping ball, but I think I can get my sea legs back in time for Metroid Dread‘s release later this year on October 8th. Damn Nintendo, you’re really stacking releases in October, huh?

WARIOWARE GET IT TOGETHER

Hell yes, now we’re talking. The last time I played a WarioWare game was when I was still in high school when the Wii was out there conquering the world, and WarioWare Smooth Moves had just come out. I don’t know if it was a good WarioWare game or not, but I do remember enjoying it quite thoroughly. It’s unfortunate though because the series mostly lived on handhelds, which is just not how I play video games. So the series mostly passed me by, but that dry spell ends this year.

I don’t know how I feel about the main conceit of controlling a little avatar that goes on screen and interacts with the micro-games using their unique abilities, but WarioWare was a series that always had a new hook from game to game, so I’m not surprised they went with a new gimmick this time around. It’s not surprising they went this angle however, considering they wanted to make a cooperative focused game that utilizes the unique aspects of the Nintendo Switch, namely, two people controlling the game simultaneously with a Joy-Con apiece. Hopefully it lives up to the legacy of the series, but we won’t know for sure until it drops later this year on September 9th.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD 2

I’ll admit that when Nintendo went to conclude their Direct by showing off Hyrule Warriors DLC, I turned the thing off entirely and moved on with my life. Little did I know, Link and his cool new hair were gonna be on display shortly after that deflating announcement. Now look, I loved the first Breath of the Wild, it was one of my favorite games of 2017 after all. I just hope that this sequel builds on the right aspects of its predecessor while ditching the shittier parts of the original. Namely, if they could maybe get rid of weapon degradation, that would just be so cool.

I know that weapon degradation is kind of a low-hanging fruit when it comes to criticism about Breath of the Wild, but in what I might consider the best Zelda game of all time, it really stuck out as an unnecessary pressure point. I’m not here to backseat develop, but that part of the game is what genuinely keeps me from wanting to revisit it.

While the trailer showed off some new powers, weapons and Link’s cool new hairdo, it was only a tease of what we might see later in the year or whenever they decide to show off more of the game. I personally would like to see a little more life out of the world this time around, like cities and such, along with some actual dungeons as opposed to the lackluster ones we saw in Breath of the Wild. Who knows what the final product will actually be like, but the fact that they’re building off of Breath of the Wild fills me with a lot of confidence that at the very least, I’ll get another game that’s at least as good as the original. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 2 will get a real name at some point that we’ll learn before it releases sometime in 2022.

I feel like every year the same conversation happens around the Nintendo Switch and its lineup. At the beginning of the year we lament the lack of confirmed releases for the holiday season, and then E3 happens and we all get put in our collective places. I’m pretty relieved that there wasn’t a new Switch model announced as well because Nintendo is terrible when it comes to utilizing their new hardware iterations, like that 3DS that came with the little nubbin’ second analog stick that I think like 2 games utilized. I also just don’t trust Nintendo to properly support two consoles at the same time, considering that even in 2021 we’re still out here using friend codes and trying to do voice chat in the most convoluted way possible.

But yeah, that’s what I saw from the Nintendo Direct that resonated with me in some fashion. I usually don’t have to worry too much about the quality of Nintendo games, but there’s always the chance that these games could turn out to be real stinkers. Here’s hoping that isn’t the case though.

Blog: Poor Planning – 03/24/21

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Over the past month or two, I’ve purchased a handful of video games that I’ve been dying to play for one reason or another. Often these are games that I just never had the time to get around to when they released but decided with this lull in the release calendar (at least in my eyes), I could finally see what all the fuss was about. The problem is, despite how much I enjoyed any single game that I purchased, I eventually bounced off of each of them and returned to doing nothing instead.

It started with me buying the “limited run” of Nintendo’s Super Mario 3D All Stars, a collection of classic 3D Mario games that has two really good 3D Mario games, and Super Mario Sunshine, a bad game included within. I started playing through Super Mario 64 and was having a blast. Aside from the camera control being shitty and some of the movement stuff not being as tight as I remember, Super Mario 64 is still one hell of a game.

*The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening – Nintendo*

Then I fell away from it when my copy of Luigi’s Mansion 3 showed up. Sorry “classic” 3D Mario games, but now it’s Luigi’s turn to shine… for a couple of levels before I dropped off of it. I don’t know why I bounced off of it so soon considering I was really enjoying the game itself. There’s way more dialogue and stuff that stops you from actually playing the game in Luigi’s Mansion 3 that I could’ve done without, but I still really had a good time with it and would like to see it through to its conclusion.

But how could I keep playing Luigi’s Mansion 3 when Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury just got released? Not only do I feel like I have to prioritize it because it came out this calendar year and it might be relevant to write something about it, but it also has one of my favorite 3D Mario games of all time inside of it along with this new open-world Mario game too. Sorry Luigi, but your brother won again. And to be fair, I annihilated the Bowser’s Fury portion of the package. Meanwhile, my partner and I are slowly working our way through 3D World itself, but I was also playing through 3D World on my own. But alas, that save file is just going to build up a thick film of digital dust from now on because I’ve finally decided to pull the trigger on a game I’ve desperately wanted to try for a while now.

That’s right, fuck off Mario, because Link is here in The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening remake, and boy does it look pretty. Also, and this is something I’ll probably have to go into at some other point in time, but I’ve never really played many Zelda games, especially a vast majority of the top-down ones. It’s a big hole in my gaming portfolio, something that I looked to fix with trying this adorable looking remake. And hot damn is it good. Well, minus the poor performance on the Switch. But outside of that, I’m having a really good time with it and… it’s been 3 weeks since I’ve touched it.

Well I need to figure something out soon because New Pokemon Snap, yes, it’s really called that, comes out at the end of April and I am very much interested in playing it. But there is a fear that comes along with desire, something you might have picked up on while reading this blog. I don’t know if it’s something about playing on a handheld that just doesn’t provide me with a lot of motivation to play through the entirety of a game or if there’s something else going on, but the idea of dropping another 60 bucks on something I’ll play 4 hours of doesn’t seem like the best choice for me. I think I have to make myself earn the right to buy a new game by forcing myself to play through something I already own. That definitely isn’t going to lead to me just hating video games altogether or anything, so I won’t even worry about it.

Blog: A Mini Mario – 02/17/21

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Last week the incredible yet nearly forgotten Super Mario 3D World, formerly a Wii U exclusive, was re-released on the Nintendo Switch. That game alone is very good and you should certainly check it out if you’re one of the many people who missed it when it was initially released back in 2013. That’s all well and good, but what I really want to talk about is the bundled game that comes alongside this new port of Super Mario 3D World, a little game called Bowser’s Fury.

For context, Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury (a bad title for a great package) is a full-priced game that contains the entirety of Super Mario 3D World, alongside an open-world 3D Mario game called Bowser’s Fury. While I’m sure I’ll end up writing a review or something for Bowser’s Fury later on, for today I want to highlight how cool of an idea this game is and why Nintendo won’t fully capitalize on it. Nintendo will certainly make a fully open-world 3D Mario game, that’s not in contention here. But Bowser’s Fury is a bite-sized example of what that might look like, and honestly, I’m way more into the idea of a smaller and more focused Mario experience than having to wait 5-7 years for a new Mario game.

Bowser’s Fury is only about 5-10 hours long depending on how thorough you want to get, which is honestly the perfect amount of game for me at the moment. But like I said, Nintendo won’t ever capitalize on this idea in a way that doesn’t come off as them “devaluing their IP.” Ideally, I would love to see a game in the vein of Bowser’s Fury release for like $20-$30 or something. Just like a nice aperitif of that Mario flavor we all enjoy so much, coming out once every two years or something to that effect.

It’s a shame too, because these little experiences could serve as table-setting for whatever big 3D Mario game is coming out. Imagine for a moment that Super Mario Odyssey 2 is coming out, that’s a good feeling isn’t it? Now in the run up to that game, people are gonna be asking the same questions about if any of the supporting Mario cast will make an appearance in the game. People could finally get the Waluigi game they some desperately have been asking for, but that won’t happen because he’s a terrible character. But you could give us a Luigi game that explains why he won’t be in this hypothetical sequel while also giving the player a soft introduction to the mechanics and flow of Super Mario Odyssey 2.

Bowser’s Fury proves that you can make a compelling and engaging platformer without releasing a full blown 3D Mario game, but I don’t think Nintendo will ever make good on that concept. Maybe you’ll see more of these kinds of experiences bundled into bigger products and re-releases, but I sincerely doubt we’ll ever see small standalone titles that are priced accordingly. But I guess at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter for Nintendo, because people are gonna buy a Mario game no matter the scope or price. But man, it would sure be cool if we got that Waluigi side story game where you watch him get hurled into a black hole.

Blog: Super Mario 3D All-Stars Feels Scummy – 09/16/20

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I’m almost certain this has been covered by other folks before, but as we creep closer to its release I find myself feeling worse and worse about Super Mario 3D All-Stars as a whole. You’d think that a package containing one of the best video games of all time would be a more exciting proposition, but there are so many little upsetting nuggets of information that keep cropping up that have effectively killed any enthusiasm I had for the collection.

For those who aren’t aware, Super Mario 3D All-Stars is an homage to the original Super Mario All-Stars on the Super Nintendo that contained the likes of Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels, and Super Mario Bros. 3. It was an incredible package that is still held in high regards today as one of the best deals in games. Super Mario 3D All-Stars does not seem like it will be anywhere near as revered as its predecessor.

*Super Mario 64 (the best game in the package.) – Nintendo*

The first issue comes down to the game selection itself. Super Mario 3D All-Stars contains Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, and Super Mario Galaxy all for the “reasonable” price of $60. The exclusion of Super Mario Galaxy 2 is suspect to say the least, especially when you realize that one of the three games in this collection is a big ol’ stinker. That’s right folks, we’ve entered the portion of the blog where I dunk on Super Mario Sunshine.

Super Mario Sunshine is a game that doesn’t feel good to play, has some of the worst levels in Mario history in it, and steals the focus away from Mario and his cool jumps in favor of using a dumb water-gun jet-pack thing. It also inverted the camera controls on both the y and x axes which is an insane thing to do as is, but they took it a step further and disallowed the ability to un-invert it at all. You either had to reprogram your brain to play this bad video game, or do the smart thing and stop playing it altogether. Super Mario Sunshine is a bad game and shouldn’t be considered an “all-star” of anything.

But aside from suspect game choices, there isn’t any real work being done to these games. Both Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario Sunshine are now presented in a modern 16:9 aspect ratio, but Super Mario 64 isn’t for some reason. None of the games are getting graphically retouched or injected with new content or accessibility features beyond the ability to mitigate some of the motion controls in Super Mario Galaxy. It just seems like a mediocre package meant to celebrate the 35th anniversary of Mario.

But the scummiest and grossest thing that Nintendo is doing with Super Mario 3D All-Stars is making it a limited release, both physically and digitally. I get limited physical releases, especially in this day and age where more and more of us are just buying things digitally, but to put an end date on when I can purchase this package digitally is wild. For reference, from the time it goes on sale at the end of this week you’ll have until the end of March 2021 to snag this overpriced collection of mostly good games.

At first the decision just seems like that classic “Nintendo is out of touch” thing, but the more you think about it the more your mind starts to craft these conspiracy theories and underhanded schemes that you could totally see Nintendo doing. My take on the situation is that Nintendo is trying to create a false scarcity for these revered games to boost their sales over the holiday season in lieu of having a big marquee game release. The artificial scarcity makes both physical and digital versions of the package seem like must have collector pieces, while also bolstering their fiscal 1st quarter earnings by guaranteeing that the sales can only hit during a specific period of time. Totally unrelated piece of information, the first fiscal quarter always ends on March 31st, just around the time when Super Mario 3D All-Stars will no longer be available for purchase.

But after you look at the blatant attempt to boost profits in a time period where a marquee game would normally come out, it’s important to remember that Nintendo has another incentive to cut off sales of Super Mario 3D All-Stars. There’s a reality in which Nintendo breaks the collection up and allows you to buy each game individually for a slightly inflated price. The collection itself feels like your chance to get the “best value” price before they break it up into 25 or 30 dollar chunks. But if I’m honest, it is Nintendo and they’ll probably try to make you pay full price for an untouched version of Super Mario 64.

*Super Mario Sunshine (a bad game) – Nintendo*

Super Mario 3D All-Stars would be a no-brainer for me if it was graphically retouched, or also offered the 3DS remake of Super Mario 64 on it. To me, I thought the bare minimum would be to just make these games run in 16:9, but Super Mario 3D All-Stars even falls short of that by only providing that “upgrade” to two-thirds of the games included. I think that Super Mario 3D All-Stars is bad package that Nintendo is trying coerce its fans into buying it by telling them it’s a limited time offer. The worst part however is that it’s totally going to work and Nintendo will make a boat load of money off of it. Or maybe the inclusion of Super Mario Sunshine is the worst part of this entire package? Who can say?

Blog: The Doctor is In – 04/01/20

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There are some games that are just evergreen and remain a part of your life well after you’re done playing them. For my generation, games like Super Mario World, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Earthbound, and so on and so forth, usually occupy a spot on their list. While those games are all well and good, I’d like to talk about a certain game that’s managed to weasel its way back into my life in a major way.

Since there’s no natural segue that I can think of, I’ll just go ahead and say it’s the NES version of Dr. Mario that’s infiltrated my life once more. To clarify, I’ve always liked Dr. Mario. It’s been one of my favorite puzzle games of all time, even beating out Tetris in my mind. It’s easy to understand, it’s a load of fun, and has some killer music in it. But even with all that being true, the odds of me ever playing it again were slim.

That’s where the Nintendo Entertainment Online System came into play. Maybe you’re more familiar with it as, “the virtual console on the Switch.” On this brilliantly titled application, you’ve got instant access to a bunch of classic (and not-so-classic) games of yesteryear. I’m pretty sure I booted this service up 3 or 4 times in total since signing up for Nintendo’s online service.

Now, my partner never really played video games as a child, only really getting into games with the Gamecube as their first system. They had missed out on a lot of the games that our generation grew up on, something that this service we both had for the Switch, could rectify. We booted up both the NES and SNES online systems, and poked around for a few hours. Standouts like Kirby Superstar, Super Tennis, and a few others were engaging and fun for us, but it was Dr. Mario himself that really did the trick.

Side note, there were about a hundred doctor and medicine-based puns I could of made in that last paragraph but didn’t. You’re welcome.

My partner was hooked, playing Dr. Mario for the remainder of our session, and even going home and powering through it on their own. I’d get screen shots of victory screens for passing level milestones along with some gentle gloating about their skill. It was genuinely nice to see how engaged they were with this 30 year old game I hadn’t thought about since the early nineties.

With this version of Dr. Mario being online enabled too, we would just end up playing it once or twice a week for an hour or two. These games usually pan out poorly for me, but they’re having fun and that’s all that really matters. I never would have suspected that this “doctor” would be the guy who’d help us stay connected, and without charging us thousands of dollars as is customary for the American healthcare system.

E3 2019: Nintendo

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Ah Nintendo, it wasn’t too long ago that everyone made fun of you for making the most backwards decisions possible. While you still make some absolutely bonkers choices, you’ve earned a ton of goodwill since the Switch launched. Personally, I want to know more about Animal Crossing, Super Mario Maker 2, and hopefully some information on the future of Nintendo’s online service, whether that’s new NES games or even SNES or N64 stuff to their offering.

Well, let’s see how wrong I was about all of this, and shine the light on Nintendo, for this, the last of our conference coverage for the week.

SUPER SMASH BROS. ULTIMATE

What better way to kick off E3 than by announcing a new character for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Or maybe 6 characters? They weren’t incredibly clear about how many characters are joining the fight, but my guess is it’s just one character with a couple of different costumes.

Oh, it’s a Dragon Quest character, probably should’ve mentioned that. For those of you still playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, I hope this is what you wanted. Another anime character in Smash. I hear the Smash community loves those.

LUIGI’S MANSION 3

I never had the chance to play the second Luigi’s Mansion on the 3DS, and in the face of this announcement, I now realize how upset I am by that fact. Luigi’s Mansion 3 looks so charming and pleasant, adding in a bunch of new features in terms of ghost hunting and multiplayer modes.

I always appreciated how Nintendo was able to make a lighthearted game in a spooky setting while also constantly just giving Luigi the short end of the stick. I look forward to it releasing later this year.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: LINK’S AWAKENING

Here’s another one I never got to play, back when it made it’s initial debut. The top down, 2D Zelda games never did the trick for me like the 3D ones, but this one looks so darn cute and adorable, that I’m willing to give this game a shot.

Also, they’re putting in a dungeon maker mode? I hope this is the backdoor pilot to Nintendo actually releasing a full Zelda maker in the vein of Mario Maker. It’ll be out on September 20th, 2019, and I will certainly be getting it.

THE WITCHER 3

It’s impressive as hell that they managed to put The Witcher 3 on the Switch and I don’t want to detract from that. But I’ve spoken about The Witcher 3 before, and while I do genuinely like the game, I don’t know that the Switch version is going to be the best way to experience it. That game had trouble playing on modern consoles as is, and I can’t imagine what it will be like on the Switch. Otherwise it’s a fantastic game that I ended up turning on god mode for most of.

Hopefully it works great and people can enjoy that game on the go. It’s due out later this year.

NO MORE HEROES 3

I have a confession, I’ve never played a No More Heroes game, but I’ve always heard good things about the series, but never got a chance to play it. I have no idea what to expect from the third title, but from my understanding, they’re traditionally fun third person action games. I think it also is a game that has attitude, for whatever that’s worth. With a nebulous 2020 release date, we’ll see how it shapes up.

ASTRAL CHAIN

From what I can gather, in this cool looking action game, you capture the enemies you’re fighting to use their abilities in combat. It looks cooler than I’m describing. You’re basically fighting these big monsters, throwing a chain at them, and then taking control of them at utilizing their abilities in combat while you’re chained to them.

It sounds interesting enough. It comes out on August 30th of this year.

MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 3

I always had a hard time getting into the Ultimate Alliance games for various reasons, and lower on that list was the camera angle. I know that the point of the game is to see your allies and cooperate with them, but it always left me feeling a little disconnected from the action on screen. This one seems to have a more traditional 3rd person camera angle while continuing to trade in the same basic action loop the past games did.

Otherwise, I’ve always enjoyed the pitch of the Ultimate Alliance games. All of these superheroes team up to fight an even bigger baddie. It’s a simple concept, but one that manages to hook me every time.

It comes out on July 19th, and I will certainly be checking it out.

ANIMAL CROSSING NEW HORIZONS

Welcome to my deserted island that’s overrun by enterprising raccoons. Animal Crossing New Horizons looks incredible, not only visually, but mechanically. It seems like it’s going for a slightly more survival focused gameplay loop. The player crafted a “flimsy axe” which leads me to believe there’s gonna be some sort of item degradation in it. Also there seemed to be an emphasis on changing weather, which I’m into.

This is all just me speculating, but it seems like they’re trying to add more emphasis on moment to moment gameplay, making you think about your items and needs in the short term, as opposed to just thinking about long term goals.

It’s a shame that it isn’t coming this year, but it won’t be too much longer of a wait, considering it releases in March of 2020.

BANJO KAZOOIE!

They’re putting Banjo-Kazooie in Smash. Everyone can finally shut up and be cool for once… right? This is great, everyone has been clamoring for this for a long time, and it was this inevitable thing that just needed to happen already. They’ll be added to the game this fall.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD SEQUEL

In what could be the spookiest announcement of the conference, a sequel to 2017’s monumental Breath of the Wild, was announced to be in development. It’s safe to assume that it’s going to play just like Breath of The Wild, so if you didn’t like that, too bad. That’s really it for info, but it’s exciting nonetheless.

More exciting is the prospect of how Nintendo hopes to recapture what made Breath of The Wild so engaging in the first place. The sense of discovery and exploration was incredible, but if we’re traipsing around the same map, I wonder how that sentiment holds up. I’d like to see maybe a new map, or a map so remixed it’s barely recognizable. Also, I think it’s time to let us play as Zelda.

Without a trace of Bayonetta, Metroid, new hardware or any info on their online service, some could look at this presentation as a whiff. I thought this presentation was great though. Still upset about Animal Crossing and it being delayed, but whatever. Nintendo’s lineup for this year looks great.

And that’s it folks. Thanks for riding with us for these conference overviews. There should be some more E3 coverage this week, but not a ton more. After all, I am in New York and can only do so much, but thank you again for sticking with us. See you around.

Blog: The Guessing Game of E3 2019 – 05/29/19

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In less than two weeks time we’ll be waist deep in the bog that is E3 once again. There are plenty of conversations that we could have about the obsolescence of the conference itself, but for the time being, I just want to scrounge together a sort of wish list for the event. With several companies not attending, including Sony, and the knowledge of a new console generation right around the corner, this year is probably going to be fairly lite in terms of big announcements.

I could probably just write the word “games” over and over, but I just want to hit on like one or two things from each conference that I’d like to see.

MICROSOFT

Microsoft is kicking off E3 with their conference, in what I think could be the most interesting conference of the entire show. It’s no secret that the Xbox One didn’t set the world on fire and was easily overtaken by the PlayStation 4 in terms of market share. Since their rocky launch, they’ve tried to right the ship since then by taking a very pro-consumer stance with their ‘Play Anywhere’ initiative, which allows for Xbox exclusives to be playable on Windows, their push to make online games allow players on any console to play with each other, and my personal favorite, the Xbox Adaptive Controller, which brings accessibility to a whole new level.

I’m genuinely excited to see what the next generation looks like under this new era of Xbox, but till then, I’m gonna just list some stuff I would love to see out of them this year.

FABLE 4

For my money, if Fable 4 came out and incorporated a large world, devoid of loading screens, with the fun yet admittedly shallow combat from Fable 2, I’d be happy. The Fable franchise has always traded on cheeky humor and robust world building, but I think it would be nice if we could make good on some of those promises that Peter Molyneux made back before the first Fable came out, and include more of those clockwork systems that make the world feel more alive.

HALO INFINITE

Look, I don’t know what they’re planning with Halo Infinite, but regardless of if it’s the conclusion to the story we’ve all wanted or a big pile of garbage, I just want to know. Just let me play this game and move on with my life. It’s not like I’ve been waiting a terribly long time, but I think I’m just so exhausted with Halo, that I just want it to be over with. If it was good, that’d be great, but even if it isn’t, I just need to know.

NEW CONSOLE

I swear, if this next console isn’t just called the Xbox Two, I’m gonna lose my shit. Although in all fairness, it would be absolutely hilarious if they just called this thing like “XCUBE” or “ULTRABOX.” I don’t know that I’m ready for a new console generation, but I don’t really have a choice in the matter. Regardless, I’d like some functionality stuff to be talked about. Are we doing a disc drive? Do all the Xbox One games work? How about the accessories like controllers? How big of a deal is streaming? Just some cool bullet points would be great.

BETHESDA

Look, I don’t like Bethesda games that much. They’ve all felt janky to me in one way or another, and I never got into any of the settings they played around in. I’m not a big post-apocalypse guy, and even less of a high fantasy fella, so I’ve basically eliminated most of their modern lineup. That said…

STARFIELD

What I wouldn’t give for any information about this game. I know that this is behind Elder Scrolls IV in the queue, and almost certainly wont be on this current generation of consoles, but a man can dream.

I’m just looking for something that can vaguely fill that Mass Effect sized hole in my heart. While I hate that Bethesda stands the best chance at this moment, I have to stay hopeful that a good sci-fi action RPG that let’s me shoot aliens or bone down with them is somewhere on the horizon.

AN APOLOGY

Imagine it; Todd Howard walks on stage with his head hung low. He steps up to the lone microphone on the stage with a single house light shining upon it. Andrew W.K. is notably not there, or if he is, he’s singing a dramatic and somber version of one of his party songs. Todd clears his throat and speaks into the mic with tears in his eyes. “We fucked up, y’all. We really goobered it up on this one. Fallout 76? Yeah, we did a bad on that.” Then he eats a canvas bag that says Fallout 76 on it, and melts into a puddle.

UBISOFT

Man, I really like the turn that Ubisoft has had this generation. They’ve stuck with their games in a way that very few developers do, and cultivate these lively communities around their games. For Honor, Rainbow Six Siege, The Division 2, and Ghost Recon Wildlands just to name a few. I’m pretty stoked to see what they do this year.

SOME PATENTLY CRAZY CONFERENCE BULLSHIT

For those not in the loop, Ubisoft has the fucking most wild press conferences ever. Usually there’s people in costumes dancing, a game of laser tag in the auditorium, and Mr. Caffeine, the strangest man ever. Ubisoft, whether intentionally or not, has made their conference twice as exciting by just being themselves.

SPLINTER CELL

I will forever ask for another one of these. I love Splinter Cell, with Splinter Cell Chaos Theory being one of my favorite games of all time, it’s been upsetting to see Ubisoft shove Sam Fisher and his cool goggles into a closet. I want another one of these games. I thought Blacklist was cool, but it didn’t scratch the itch I needed it to. I’m ready to see Sam Fisher snap necks and hang from the ceiling like he did in the old days.

WATCH DOGS 3

If I can’t have Splinter Cell, give me this instead. The lack of an Assassin’s Creed this year along with a ton of rumors about the next Watch Dogs taking place in London, all lend credence to the almost inevitable announcement of Watch Dogs 3. The rumor of it being set in London makes me even happier, considering one of the biggest issues with Watch Dogs 2, was how flippantly your character went from graffiti enthusiast, to armed assassin. Setting the game in a place without guns adds to the likelihood that more focus will be put on the puzzle aspects of the game, rather than the shooty shooty killing part of it. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Watch Dogs 2, but I think they did themselves a disservice by letting you use shotguns and pistols.

THE OTHER STUFF

Ubisoft is really good about the, “one more thing” part of E3. They announce some big sequels, along with some really intriguing new franchises. I’d like a progress update on Beyond Good & Evil 2, maybe see what other Nintendo collaborations they have up their sleeves, or even see them tackle some more sports in a follow up to Steep. Ubisoft has my attention most of the time, except for that boat game they announced. I don’t give a damn about their pirate thing.

SQUARE ENIX

I… I don’t really know. I guess people really wanna see that Final Fantasy 7 remake, but I just could not give less of a shit. I genuinely do not know what to even ask for here. I’m looking at their Wikipedia page, and maybe like, 5 games are jumping out at me.

They probably aren’t doing another Tomb Raider just yet, Thief and Sleeping Dogs are basically dead at this point, and they just released Just Cause 4 last year. Aside from Life is Strange, they’ve really got nothing I want. Although according to their Wikipedia page, that untitled Avengers project is still a thing, and I haven’t played a good superhero game in a very long time.

Aside from that, I can’t really think of anything I want from them. Surprise me, Square Enix. Surprise me.

NINTENDO

Alright, here’s the situation: Nintendo already announced two games that I’m very excited for, and a bunch of others that mean relatively little to me. I have no doubt that something will catch my attention during their Nintendo Direct, but here’s what I’d like.

MARIO 2 STYLE IN MARIO MAKER 2

Like, just fucking do it Miyamoto. Do the thing we all want for once, and put the game in the other game. Mario Maker 2 looks fantastic, and seems to be fixing a lot of the shortcomings of it’s predecessor, so just fucking do the damn thing.

ANYTHING ABOUT ANIMAL CROSSING

Please?

MARIO RPG

I know I’ll never get a sequel to Super Mario RPG on the Super Nintendo, but how about another Paper Mario game? We’ve done enough of those Mario & Luigi games that were fine, but hit me with the big one. Give me another Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door or something. You did the Mario and Rabbids thing, and that surprisingly worked out pretty well. So just do this thing for me, okay?

CONTINUE TO NEVER GIVE WALUIGI ANYTHING

Fuck Waluigi.

That’s what I’ve got so far, maybe next week I’ll look into some of the companies that aren’t doing conferences, and grossly speculate about what they could make, if they had to listen to me.

Animal Crossing is Still Incredible

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Every morning I pack my bag with a water bottle, maybe a lunch, a charger, and my Nintendo Switch. I usually have some free time at my office, and like having the option to play games while I’m there. However, lately I’ve been bringing another, older hunk of plastic with me that has two screens and doesn’t fold. Of course, I’m talking about the Nintendo 2DS that I bought on a deep discount.

You might be asking yourself, “Ari, why would you bring that hideous blue monstrosity anywhere in public with you?” Now, while I agree that the 2DS is a garish nightmare-brick, the reason it’s been accompanying me to work is because it has Animal Crossing: New Leaf on it.

There are two main reasons why this matte-blue doorstop of a portable console has been my platform of choice lately. As I mentioned before, Animal Crossing, but also because I never really owned a 3DS or portable console before. I grew up with a Gameboy and stuff, but I missed out on almost two decades of mobile gaming hardware since then for reasons that aren’t entirely clear.

The last time I played an Animal Crossing game was the one on the original DS. A DS that an ex-girlfriend loaned me until our relationship collapsed under its own weight. So I never really got much time in the DS ecosystem. But that game left an incredible impression on me that didn’t make its impact known until I played New Leaf.

I have a problem with incremental games in general. For instance, I’ve been playing Wiz Khalifa’s Weed Farm on my phone for almost two years now because it’s a mindless checklist for me to engage with and clear daily, and also because I like seeing the numbers get bigger. Animal Crossing now occupies that space for me, and the best part is that it isn’t hitting me up to spend twenty dollars on “weed bucks” or whatever.

It’s a mindless, pleasant chore list, that’s so peaceful and chill. Maybe this penguin wants to trade me a dartboard for some pants, or maybe some shifty art dealer is trying to peddle some bullshit in my town. Whatever it is, it’s relaxing and non confrontational in a way that I am super into these days.I just boot this hunk of azure plastic up and get to go fishing with some cool animal friends, buy stuff from some awesome raccoons, or help the world’s worst museum curator in the world. I would way rather get my incremental, idle game fix from Animal Crossing: New Leaf than I would from anything I can get on my phone, including Animal Crossing Pocket Camp.

What I think I appreciate the most about Animal Crossing: New Leaf, is that it’s deceptively in-depth. You can look at promotional materials and just assume it’s a slight experience, offering nothing of substance. And if you asked me to describe what I do daily in the game, it can sound pretty boring. But there’s a ton of secret, under explained, or purposefully obfuscated mechanics hiding under the surface of the game.

The game never told me that I had to buy more stuff from the shops for them to expand and grow, but that sure as hell makes sense. I didn’t know that you could wish upon a shooting star and get magic furniture delivered to you the next day, but here we are. It’s just a bunch of little hidden systems like those, that add so much depth and variety to this game.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things about Animal Crossing that drive me up a wall, like inventory management, and how much people like to talk to me about scanning Amiibo figures in for stuff. That and the fact that even though six creatures live in the town, and I’m one of them, and the only human, and also the mayor, every shop owner treats me like it’s the first time I’ve been there. I’m the mayor, remember my very unique and non-animalian face for once in your lives. But those are nitpicky concerns at best.

All of this was spurred on by the announcement of a new Animal Crossing game coming to the Switch this year. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into that game and explore whatever weirdness Nintendo injects into it. The saddest part about it is, whenever it does finally release, all of my citizens in Animal Crossing: New Leaf will die from loneliness because I’m never going to pick up that ugly-ass Nintendo 2DS again.

Blog: Nintendorama – 01/09/19

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I’ve been toiling away in the Nintendo mines lately, chipping away at some of my ever expanding backlog when I came to the incredibly rare and never before talked about realization that those folks at Nintendo know how to make fun games. This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I’m serious. I think they might be onto something.

In all seriousness, I’ve been grinding my way through some Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and am having the most fun I’ve had with that series in ages. I know a lot of people didn’t like the concept of having to unlock most of the 7000 characters in the game, but it’s kind of kept me on the hook longer than I expected. I don’t know what will happen when I unlock everyone, but for the moment it’s enough motivation to keep me coming back.

Speaking of getting them all, I’ve also been playing Pokemon: Let’s Go Pikachu and am having a similar experience to Smash Bros. Ultimate. I’ve never been a huge Pokemon guy, but this game is so darn delightful that I can’t help but be charmed by it. I think my favorite part about it might be all the bullshit they’ve cut from the Pokemon formula. Random encounters are gone now that you can see all the little critters rustling around in the bushes, swapping Pokemon in and out of your party is no longer something you need to return to a town for, and all your little Poke-pals get experience just for being there after a battle. Although I guess I don’t know for sure if these are new changes to the series, but they’re new to me. The game thus far is a low stress experience and I hope it remains that way.

2019 seems like it could be a big year for Nintendo with upcoming titles like Animal Crossing and Metroid Prime 4, and I can’t wait to see how it pans out. Like tons of people my age, I grew up with Nintendo, and after seeing the disappointment that was the Wii U, it’s nice to see them back on top with the Switch and it’s lineup of fantastic first party games, as well as overwhelming indie support.

Blog: InterNintendo – 09/12/18

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We find ourselves once again on the eve of another Nintendo Direct, speculating on what announcements will be made. As with every Nintendo Direct, people are hoping for some Animal Crossing news or some new information about Metroid Prime 4. Theories aside, the one thing we can safely assume will be there is information detailing Nintendo’s online service which is set to launch on September 18th.

At the moment we have some information currently available to us provided by Nintendo themselves, but there are still a lot of questions left unanswered. Most people will want to know about the rotating library of classic games you’ll get access to as a member. Things like multiplayer features that will be added into certain games are confirmed, with Super Mario Bros. 3 being the first example of how it will work.

I also assume that the added online functionality will result in officially sanctioned Nintendo leaderboards for their classic titles, which if done well, could be Nintendo acknowledging and supporting the competitive scenes that have cropped up around their games which would be a really nice change of pace for them.

But aside from that, there’s very little else to look forward to here. Sure you’ll get access to cloud saves (which is absurdly behind a paywall and doesn’t support all games), but there seems to be very little else being offered here. On top of that, if one of the big draws is the library of retro games to play, I’m curious to see how Nintendo will handle that when you’re not connected to any internet source. They seem to be so terrified of piracy and the internet in general, that I’m not entirely certain they’ll allow you to play any of these games offline.

For only $20 for a year the service is surprisingly reasonable, but I’m just not confident in Nintendo’s ability to provide a compelling reason for me to participate. Personally, I have no interest in playing any of their current games online, and there are plenty of ways for someone to play Super Mario Bros. 3 without paying $20 a year for it.

Maybe tomorrow Nintendo will come out with some really interesting things that make me want to engage with their service. I really hope they nail this thing, because asking people to pay for a thing they were getting for free since the launch of the Switch is going to be a big ask, regardless of the price.